Greetings my fellows Final Fantasy XIV players. My name is Sirocco "Shameless Flirter" Occoris, and I have been playing FF14 since the first day of 2.0 Early Access (so almost 7 years) and never actually stopped playing. My /playtime is 1253 days and with the permission of u/papayatulus to use his iceberg picture as the reference I will try to explain all the terms that are on that. His original thread is here https://www.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/hs0fi5/the_iceberg_of_final_fantasy_14_secrets_and/. A user https://old.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/hs0fi5/the_iceberg_of_final_fantasy_14_secrets_and/fy9ag14/ wishes someone to explain all to them so I'm here to fulfill that request. Please feel free to let me know if I have anything wrong. This post will be full of spoilers big and small, so please read at your own risks.

• Original Viera Voice 7: With the release of Shadowbringer came a new race, Viera. As with many other races players can choose one set among a certain amount of voice sets when they create/fantasia their characters. Viera Voice 7 as of 5.0 is like this https://youtu.be/Lo2XtnYpnIg , but since 5.1 it has been changed completely. The old sounds were bugged and appeared to be that of an old woman having an orgasm.
  
• Hornbill is Emet-Selch: Hornbill (actually Shoebill) is a bird that makes cameo in some Shadowbringer Main Scenario Quests. It looks like this: http://imgur.com/gallery/lmh9uwW. Many players consider it to be condescending/have a condescending look. Sometimes it also appears out of place, and this theory is first theorised in this thread https://www.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/ca2cgt/shoebill_theory/
  
• Ixalis are Allagans: Ixal is one of many beast tribes in the game, those feathered winged creatures with a talent for crafting, science and technology. You can find more details in this thread: https://www.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/3czoo3/spoilers_regarding_allagans_and_ixali/ that the civilisation of Allag actually created the Ixali.
  
• Pixel Dodge: This is how most MMOs work, that our character's model is actually "compressed" in one single point/pixel. Not "compressed" in the literal meaning, "compressed" as in "only that single pixel matters when considering hitboxes". This is very relevant in dodging AOE, sometimes you can see parts of your body being inside the telegraphed marker, but you don't get hit. As long as that single point is out of the danger zones, you will be fine.
  
• Beardless Cid: Cid is a prominent character in the MSQ, he is often depicted as a technological genius, hard-working individual with a marvellous white beard http://imgur.com/gallery/Be7p269 However prior to 2.0, he was actually... beardless and looked like... this http://imgur.com/gallery/VeC7RJK
  
• Clip onto Cliffhanger: Cliffhanger is a GATE in the Gold Saucer, in the Round Square, that requires you to do a mini jump puzzle to get to the top of the mountain. When the GATE pops, you would need to talk to the NPC and get teleported to the startpoint. The thing is, you can actually get on top of the mountain whenever you want, without having to initialise the GATE or even have the GATE present. From here https://imgur.com/a/ldTj0Ls, you can actually jump to here https://imgur.com/a/JlOVSa4. You might not get it on the first try but if you keep trying and jumping, you'll eventually get it.
  
• Edda's Ghost: Edda is a character in the Tam-tara Deepcroft Hard questline. The story is tragic and gruesome. You can find a full summary of the story of said questline here https://www.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/2a9wji/tamtara_lore_welcome_to_creepsville_spoilers_all/ When you complete Tam-tara Hard, there is a 1%(?) 0.1%(?) (I don't remember the actual probability, I just know that it is small) chance that Edda will spawn (for you only) in one of the main three cities. This is a known feature. The myth is that some players claimed that they saw Edda's ghost without completing the Tam-tara Hard questline. Edda also appears in Palace of The Dead as a boss once you reach a certain floor.
  
• 1.0 Black Shroud: Can be pretty much summed up in this comment https://old.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/hs0fi5/the_iceberg_of_final_fantasy_14_secrets_and/fy8bvpf/ (Thank you u/MrMoogle314 and co.)
  
• Estinien Facial Swap: The face of Estinien when he is in his full DRG armor (with the helmet) and when he is not the his iconic armor are actually different. You can find the details in this comment https://www.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/hskzt7/explanation_of_the_terms_in_the_iceberg_of_final/fycc0un/. Thank you u/MagpieInBlack
  
• Gold Saucer visible: The Gold Saucer is visible in the background of Southern Thanalan, like the way Idyllshire is visible from Hinterlands and Eulmore is visible from Kholusia.
  
• Comfort Misery: The debuff status "Misery" can actually be cleansed using /comfort on the affected target. It first appeared in the LV50 dungeon The Lost City of Amdapor. There are gremlin mobs in said dungeon that cast "Foul Mouth" it will apply a "Misery" debuff on you. It cannot be cleansed with Esuna, but it can be cleansed with /comfort. This is a known feature. It DOES NOT work on yourselves though, it has to be from another player so if you wanna test it make sure to have at least 2 people.
  
• Retainers in Overworld: Retainers can actually be seen in the overworld, gathering resources. Like Edda, they also have a chance of appearing. They appear as untargettable NPCs, like the other untargettable NPCs you can see in many other places. This is a known feature.
  
• GM Jail: It is a place where you get pulled in by a GM. Apparently it is actually not instanced, and most of your actions are disabled, including teleport and return. The only thing that appears on your screen is the chatbox. This effectively serves as an in-game jail, where players who committed misconducts are pulled in there and get a warning/a strike/a temporary ban/a perma ban from a GM. When you are released, you will not be released to where you got pulled from, you will be released to the aetheryte that you set as your return point (so probably Limsa).
  
• Crystarium 2005 Tech Demo: The original video itself is from 2005, but this video from 2007 pretty much sums it up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgtZvn5c4e4 It is a Tech Demo from two thousand and five, fifteen years ago that depicts a city with a striking resemblance to the Crystarium.
  
• Cloud Strife Dialogue: It is an easter-egg in game that you can find under System > Character Configuration > Log Window Settings > General then click on one of the 4 Log Filters. It looks like this https://imgur.com/a/Se7IiHB. Each line in each tab of the filters has its own Cloud line.
  
• Open air wedding chapel: Wedding, referred to in-game as "Eternal Bond" or simply "EB", is a ceremony between two players where they get "married". The ceremony is in the Ivory Chapel in East Shroud, many of you might already be very familiar with it. The wedding concept in FF14 however started with an open-air wedding style instead of indoor, unfortunately I can't seem to find the reference picture.
  
• Every Primal is fought alone: First theorised in this thread https://www.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/6qorn7/so_when_fighting_primals_are_we_alone_or_not/ it seems that every time we fought a primal, unless explicitly stated in game with "gather your fellow adventurers with you", we actually fought them alone.
  
• Hidden Gilgamesh in OST: Way back in 2.3/2.4 there was one of the many FFXIV OST albums was released for purchase. One of the tweet from the FF14 twitter after the release of said album was this https://imgur.com/a/PdnnUF8 it referred to a locked file within the album that contains the track "Battle of the Big Bridge". The password to unlock said file is "gilgamesh".
  
• Yugiri is a Miqo'te: Yugiri is an Auri character in the MSQ, she first appeared in 2.4, that is before the release of Heavensward. Throughout all of her ARR appearance, she was always seen wearing a mask that covered her entire head except for her eyes. We were only able to see her actual face with the release of 2.5. Masked Yugiri is indeed a cat, having the Miqo'te model. You can find the details in this comment https://www.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/hskzt7/explanation_of_the_terms_in_the_iceberg_of_final/fycc0un/. Thank you u/MagpieInBlack
  
• Back masking in Tam-tara Hard theme: Backmasking is a recording technique in which a sound or message is recorded backward onto a track that is meant to be played forward. Backmasking is a deliberate process, whereas a message found through phonetic reversal may be unintentional. This is probably related to Edda and her creepy questline.
  
• Housing Void: There is a glitch in FFXIV where you can go out of bound in a house. With a certain specific set up, consisting of Troupe Stages and certain beds, you can see what it's like "outside" of a house. It's a square box with non-smooth texture within a completely dark background, if you fall into it you'll fall forever.
  
• Meol is just bread: Meol is the food given by Vauthry to the poor people living in Kholusia. It is actually made of sin eaters, so if one eats that, one to an extent "is" a sin eater. Vauthry has the ability to control sin eaters, that's why he does that. This is probably a meme related to this, in line with the saying "x did nothing wrong".
  
• Pixies turned into beavers: First theorised in this thread https://www.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/c8c6r6/spoilers_fae_folk_in_il_mheg/ it is really a theory about the pixies in Il Mheg that get turned into beavers.
  
• Dun Scaith Ultima: The 24 man raid Dun Scaith, when first released, had a completely different third boss, the Succubus. After a certain FanFest (I forgot which FanFest) where players who attended got to do a fight with the Proto Ultima, they decided to change Dun Scaith's third boss to Proto Ultima. There is actually still a way for you to fight the original third boss, the Succubus, whereas ALL 24 players in that instance must not have accepted the Proto Ultima questline. As long as ONE of the 24 players in Dun Scaith has accepted the Proto Ultima questline, you will get Proto Ultima as the third boss.
  
• 0:00 Titan clear: Titan is one of the more notorious primals in FFXIV. This is probably a meme referring to a bug/glitch that would give you an instant win over one of the Titan fights.
  
• King Moogle self-kill: Thornmarch and Thornmarch EX, are primal fights released in 2.2, so like... 6 years ago. In the Extreme version you would fight King Moogle and his 8 lackeys. Unlike most other fights, this one does not have a hard enrage. You are supposed to reduce the lackeys' HP to very low, but not zero, then kill one, the king would then refill all of the lackeys' HP to full at the cost of his own HP. You can only do this twice before the "enrage". Basically you damage the main boss by damaging the adds. If you just kill one lackey for example, the main boss would only lose a little of his HP, compared to a big chunk if you have all 8 at very low HP then kill one. After the second time of doing that, King Moogle will cast his Enrage, dealing a fix amount of... 30000 damage. The cast is super long, like 15-20 seconds. In 2.2, that is more than enough to kill everyone. But in 5.2 where everyone has 120k HP and the tanks have like 170k HP, if you do this fight unsync, no one would do it the legit way. They would just quickly kill 2 lackeys, then the main boss because unlike other hard enrages where it just outright kills you regardless of how much HP you have, this fight's enrage is fixed at... 30k damage per cast. Non healers can survive 5-8 casts, healer can survive infinite casts, so there is no point of doing this the correct way when unsync.
  
• Urth's Fount (Extreme): This is a primal fight release in 2.5, where you fight Odin. This fight does not actually have an Extreme version, only a normal version. This is one of the few primal fights to not have an Extreme version. Urth's Fount Extreme is probably a meme related to this.
  
• Koji Fox Vocals: Koji Fox is the lead of the English localisation team for FFXIV. He is famous for the plethora of pop culture references within the game, and also a lot of sexual innuendos. He is also a member of the FFXIV band along with Soken and other members, where he actually is the lead vocal. Some of the in-game OSTs are actually Koji's singing, namely "Locus" (Seeking the peace of reason, Sheep in a peaceless season...)
  
• Warrior of Light is a primal: This is theorised long before, where... we the WOL, is a primal.
  
• Y'shtola aethersight is killing her: After using her kaboom ultimate to escape in the conclusion of 2.5, she got lost in the Lifestream and became blind. She is now "seeing" with aethersight instead of her eyes, and it is theorised that if she keeps on doing this she will die.
  
• 2B boot foot amputation: Can be summed up with this comment https://old.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/hs0fi5/the_iceberg_of_final_fantasy_14_secrets_and/fy98hz2/ whereas the 2B boots give the wearer some weird visual glitches.
  
• Zenos died in Ala Mhigo: Zeno died in the conclusion of 4.0 after we fought him, he then body hopped to a resistance soldier then later body hopped back to his actual body, thanks to the artificial echo. This is a meme related to that.
  
• Crowd Noise Lalafell: If you go to a crowded city and turn off all the sound excepts for the "Ambient Sound", you will hear a lot of chatters with occasion laughter and shouting. The lalafell noise definitely replays over and over along with the "UGHHH" sound right after. This is automatic and is part of the game even if no players are actually emoting. It's specifically Lalafell /happy voice 1.
  
• Corpse Drifting: Happens when you died and DC'd under certain circumstances. I actually have a video of it myself, recorded by myself. A video from 2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tgi47TzhwSg
  
• Chocobo Summoning in House: A Chocobo as a mount and a choboco as a companion, under normal circumstances cannot be summoned in a house. There is probably a glitch that allows it, but I don't know about said glitch. It might also just be a meme.
  

Note: From this point onward (the third row), there appears to be less and less known features and more memes.

• Desynthing Minion: Minion cannot be desynthesized. There might be a glitch that allows it, but I don't know about it. This is probably a meme.
  
• Nanamo really died: Nanamo got "poisoned" in 2.5, we all thought she died back then but it turned out that she is still alive. It might be theorised that the current Nanamo we see is not real and the actual Nanamo actually died. This one is in the same line as the Zenos one. This one probably might just be a meme.
  
• Miqo'te hidden human ear: Miqo'te have cat ears on top of their head instead of on the side. Probably just a meme.
  
• Hobgoblin nightmare: Referred to the description of the Hobgoblin's minion. https://imgur.com/a/jN6miO3
  
• Totorak Hard mode theme: Many of the old dungeons get a Hard mode version in later patches. Totorak is considered by many players to be long and tedious, especially if you get it in a leveling roulette. There is no Totorak Hard dungeon in the game, so this is probably a meme related to that.
  
• Fattest Cat: Fat Cat is a minion. Fatter Cat is a mount. "Fattest Cat" is an easter egg found in the second boss of the LV70 dungeon "The Drowned City of Skalla", released in 4.1. You can see it here https://youtu.be/d6bUC9_Vy6M?t=132 This is actually an old FFXIV standard of naming skills, and some of it are still present to this day (Straight Shot -> Straighter Shot for example). Fattest Cat is probably a meme referring to that.
  
• Midgardsormr blood in Mor Dhona: It is said that the blood of said dragon can be seen in Mor Dhona, but I think this is probably just a meme.
  
• West Shroud: La Noscea has both Western La Noscea nad Eastern La Noscea, Thanalan has both Western Thanalan and Eastern Thanalan. The Black Shroud used to have both West Shroud and East Shroud in 1.x, West Shroud got removed in 2.0. Many players want the zone back.
  
• A8S Temporal Loop: In A8S (The raid "The Burden of the Son" released in 3.2) if you ignore the mechanics for the 4 robots, it’s normally a party wipe. If you do it unsync, the wipe is actually possible to survive, but it’ll reset the fight to the beginning by respawning the first enemy robot if it detects any surviving players. The 3.x raid series/The Alexandre raid series also featured some time traveling elements, most notably in A12/A12S, where there is a mechanic that makes us go back in time to save ourselves in A11/A11S. The fights A11/A11S themselves have some foreshadowing to this too. This is probably a meme related to that.
  
• Thancred still possessed: Thancred was possessed by Lahabrea back in ARR. He is now not possessed anymore so this is probably a meme saying that he is still possessed.
  
• Lyhe Ghiah Door pattern: When doing treasure maps, sometimes you come across a portal that leads you to an instanced "dungeon". Within this place after you clear each floor you will get rewarded with gil and items, and the further you go, the more gil and the more valued items you would get, up to the very last floor. However between each floor you must choose between 2 to 3 doors. Choose right and you proceed to the next floor, choose wrong and you get booted out. The door choosing doesn't actually matter, it's just there for show, you have a set probability of success/failure regardless of which door you've chosen. Some people claimed that they can get the "correct" door every time by examining the patterns on the doors.
  
• Estinien bathing scene: Apparently Estinien was wearing his blood-covered armour for like half of Heavensward, meaning he didn't take a bath for that much time periods. This is probably a meme related to that.
  
• Peeled Aura: Can be summarised with this comment https://old.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/hs0fi5/the_iceberg_of_final_fantasy_14_secrets_and/fy81f1f/. Thanks u/gurluas.
  
• Zenos Sahagin theory: The MSQ part in 2.3, we came across a Sahagin Chef that can hop bodies with the help of the echoes. Zenos also did the same thing. This is probably a meme related to this.
  
• Crystal Tower upside down: I don't actually know anything about this one but I guess it has something to do with the Mor Dhona's Crystal Tower and the Crystarium's Crystal Tower having different visuals.
  
• Gold Saucer Ambient sound: If you teleport to the Gold Saucer and turn off all the sound except for the ambient sound, what you hear can be quite eerie/creepy, ironic to a supposed jovial-casino-themed establishment.
  
• Haurchefant Portrait: Probably a meme related to Haurchefant. Someone explained it in this comment https://old.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/hs0fi5/the_iceberg_of_final_fantasy_14_secrets_and/fy808t1/ Thanks u/TessAvarice
  
• FFXIV engine developed in Roblox: Roblox is an online game platform and game creation system that allows users to program games and play games created by other users. An obvious meme.
  
• Apartment 91: There are only 90 apartments in any given Ward/Subward https://imgur.com/a/U9fg8ks. An obvious meme.
  
• Hunger Bar: Hunger Bar is a reference to Minecraft where players have a bar displayed as drumsticks which regulates the player's certain abilities. In FFXIV we can have a meal, but we are not required to have a meal to function properly. This is a meme related to that.
  
• Mahjong Fifth player: Mahjong is a 4-player game that was added in 4.4. So first I read this comment https://old.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/hs0fi5/the_iceberg_of_final_fantasy_14_secrets_and/fy8292l/ but coincidentally, I am actually a semi-pro Mahjong player IRL. I have actually reached the highest rank (10th Dan) 8 months ago in November 2019, and I currently am the first and only 10th Dan player in FFXIV. I also have a really high rating. https://imgur.com/a/DTe2bNo This one I can personally confirm that there is no such thing as Gonma or 5th Mahjong player or any additional Mahjong questline in FFXIV. This is an obvious meme.
  
• Unique Scylla Robe: The "Scylla's Robe of Casting" and "Scylla's Robe of Healing" are drops from the 24-man raid Syrcus Tower. Their similarity in visual between the 2 robes are probably what made this meme.
  
• Powerman 5000 copied Soken: First appeared in this thread https://www.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/47dbl5/soken_vs_powerman_5000/ (The video in the thread was actually taken down) but it is somewhat of a controversy where certain Soken's tracks are similar to those of Powerman 5000, another composer.
  
• All Namazu are Lalafell: Obvious meme.
  
• Reflection Texture: Mirrors exist in the FFXIV universe. Some housing items are actually mirrors, like this makeup set https://imgur.com/a/6l2BVWT, but as you can see it is always deliberately covered, because reflection texture in game would probably be too much, hence this meme.
  
• Exarch clone: Probably a meme related to the many Crystal Exarch clones running amok, and one we've seen in the 2019 Halloween event.
  
• Dress up Flash game on Mog station: Probably a meme related to Fantasia.
  
• Triple Triad empty card: A glitch occurred in a Triple Triad game in which you have an empty card. There was actually a thread and a video about this glitch, but I cannot find it right now. I will update this post when I find it.
  

Note: Most of the terms in the bottom row are memes.

• Dialectics of the Baldesion Arsenal: Baldesion Arsenal or simply BA, is a 54-man dungeon released in 4.55 with the latest installment of Eureka, Hydatos. Eureka itself is kinda like a totally different world compared to the rest of the game (both literally and metaphorically). When Eureka was in its prime, instances were often full, and if you zoned in a Eureka instance you would find things on /shout chat like: "Is Louhi up?", "LFG NM prep", "lfg train", "Please rez at (x;y)". BA probably has the same kind of abbreviations referring to strategies, probably even more obscure that led to the birth of this meme.
  
• Stone Sea Sky Numerology: Stone Sea Sky or simply SSS is a featured first released in 3.0, which "mimics" certain fights (often Extreme Primal and High-End Savage Raids), in the form of a dummy with a set amount of HP. This amount changes depending on which job you are. It is supposed to be a personal DPS check to see whether you have the DPS to clear the encounter, it might or might not be accurate. This is a meme related to that.
  
• Thancred Infertile: Probably a meme related to Thancred's inability of having children.
  
• UCOB strat found in Voynich Manuscripts: UCOB or Ultimate Coil of Bahamut, is an ultimate raid with extremely high difficulty that requires great skill and great coordination among all 8 players. Can pretty much be summed up with this comment https://old.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/hs0fi5/the_iceberg_of_final_fantasy_14_secrets_and/fy86gmk/. Thanks u/tyanu_khah and co.
  
• Wandering Minstrel sentience and FFXIV is turn-based: Can pretty much be summed up with this comment https://old.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/hs0fi5/the_iceberg_of_final_fantasy_14_secrets_and/fy8g8bx/. Thanks u/CallaSoatski and co.
  
• Black Parse: Parsing is the act of using ACT (heh) or Advanced Combat Tracker, a 3rd party tool to calculate one's DPS. A parse can also be called a "log", and said log can be uploaded to a website called "FFlogs", which ranks players based on those logs. Each fight and job has their own percentile of DPS, and each percentile tier has a colour associated with it, with 0-25 being grey, 26-49 being green, 50-74 being blue, 75-94 being purple, 95-99 being orange and 100 being gold, hence terms like "Grey parse", "Orange parse". There is no percentile that has the colour black, so this is a meme related to that.
  
• Lord of Verminion Tournament: Lord of Verminion is a mini game added way back in 3.1, you can go to the Gold Saucer upper floor and play with another player. It's basically a MOBA where you control your minions to defeat your opponent's. The game is actually quite fun, I enjoy it from time to time, but there are not many people playing it. There is also a bi-weekly tournament of this game, but the number of participants can be so low that you might see the same names on the leaderboard every time.
  
• PoTD RNG sampling uses number stations: PoTD or Palace of the Dead is a rogue-like randomised dungeon where you must kill monsters on a floor to proceed to the next floor. The layout of each floor is completely random. A numbers station is a shortwave radio station characterized by broadcasts of formatted numbers, which are believed to be addressed to intelligence officers operating in foreign countries. An obvious meme.
  
• Roulette Synchronicity: If you queue for a Duty Roulette, you cannot get a dungeon that has the ilevel surpassing your current ilevel. Many players abused this to get the dungeons they desire, preferably a quick and easy one.
  
• Guildhest parallel universe: Guildhests are... instanced duties like other instanced duties in the game, but less prominent. Some are actually required to progress with the MSQ, but there were no new Guildhests since 2.0. Probably a meme related to that.
  
• Simultaneous Aurum Vale: Aurum Vale is a LV47 dungeon and is notorious because of the jump in difficulty compared to many preceding dungeons. Players suddenly kinda have to know what they are doing and play at least moderately decently, and a small mistake can easily lead to a wipe. Many players express grudge against this particular dungeon. This is probably a meme related to that.
  

Thank you all if I use any of the threads that you started.
Edit 1: Thank you very much for the medal!
Edit 2: I was able to clarify a few terms and make some adjustments thanks to the people commenting below.

the cosmopolitan six thousand five hundred dollar bank the bonus live play tonight last night you guys wanted some mighty cash i found you a mighty cash double up look at those numbers that we're working with same format last night we do 500 tickets however some of my tickets are a thousand bucks they're just easier that way so i'll have to do some uh thinking and uh math but i get kerry here to help me out and i got all my lovely and fans so ticket starts at a thousand dollars so we're not gonna go below 500 guys so this one should be pretty easy max volume bank the bonus live play 13.50 a spin [Music] mighty cash double up let's see this haywire five or more for the bonus [Music] mr classic tv says punky power thank you mr classic tv oh yeah mr classic tv i think you won one of those blenders or um mixers but i need to get your address so send me an email or message me on facebook so i know jimmy d won the other mixer but i'm pretty sure you are the other winner so i want to get that sent out to you yes haywire we got something big oh 45 bucks good ones big one oh i couldn't drop like the maxi because it doubles up [Music] wait there we go [Music] and carrie we trust so we're gonna have him hit the button all right gary [Music] wow that's huge let's keep getting these red ones yes this is not bad red [Music] that wasn't a good spin but if your first two are pretty solid so i forgive you [Music] yolanda rory love you bry mighty cash is the best i love you too yolanda hopefully it will come to new york here soon yeah this is a decent oh yolanda which one do i pick yolanda's picking guys left right middle if yolanda's in here we'll give her a first chance to pick one two or three your left middle right yolanda i'm gonna wait for her i am i'm in plenty of time [Music] i'm a no hurry this is a nice little bonus yolanda gets to pick [Music] leland assistant too all right here it is shoot that's fine all right let's do it anything filled up down there okay extra 13.50 [Music] yes too bad we couldn't fill that up this is not a bad little hit i'll do some ticket math later on because uh i had a thousand dollar ticket but a good start yesterday we started off great and then it went south and if smaller bets work we'll do smaller bets but i am getting some revenge on that 25 cash code it's a jackpot to start the night what do you know [Music] yolanda has no reason to be sorry how's the picture quality everybody we have one person keep saying bad picture but everybody else says [Music] [Music] nothing [Music] all right let me see if i can uh [Music] all right [Music] all right is that good now how does that look perfect all right couple backup spins come on please please please [Music] backup spins galore i saw it go by too all right two thousand dollars will be the ending point [Music] all right first game get a win nice start all right so this ticket guys oh cougar girls 9.99 super justice happy new year all right i reset it i don't know what else to do so i did reset the wi-fi i mean the picture i am at mercy of the casino and romeo evan welcome to the bod rubber ducky club all right guys since um the same ticket so five hundred dollars again i've got these thousand dollar tickets i have to use them twice so the floor is going to be 1500 all right all right 17 16 a spin [Music] that's huge 300 that's good [Music] [Applause] yep i i work with what i have so [Music] maybe it'll get better but i did reset it twice after that i can't do much i apologize but i'm working with what they have but thank you to 800 people watching one more [Music] open this pot 24. [Music] 40 bucks [Music] yes scott i just re-logged into wi-fi for the third time i did reset it and i reset it again so [Applause] [Music] all right before the bonus i'll see if i can fix the wi-fi whoops 73. if you're winning with that well i find it just keep it that way give me one second guys this is my best four games [Music] which one do you guys look all right which one should i pick i've never done this thank you raja what do you guys want [Music] miss mary brian thank you for the live play i really activity oh thank you miss mary [Music] coins [Music] all right coins all coins come on yes oh we're going to do something on the left [Music] chris had patches behind me for me hey one more time i logged out i forgot the network and i logged back in [Music] guys not much i can do guys so the i'm doing the best i can but tell me it's blurry and tell me it's unwatchable and you're gonna unsubscribe above and beyond because i don't control the wi-fi you're gonna unsubscribe from my channel uh i'm not trying to be negative here but don't say crap like that that's just not cool all right guys i'm doing the best i can to give you guys some bonus live play and kyle sell data does not work at all in vegas anyways we got a bonus 776 dollars all right there's some backup spans the floor we'll get 2800 2750 2800 we'll see how it goes and we'll do the top up if we hit it [Music] all right so 27.50 is gonna be the floor so the first thousand in we're gonna have at least 27.50 so that's a great start tonight the pot is a little over 6500 but that's what the tickets i had available was they're gonna make that work but thank you all for tuning in thank you for you know the watching the earlier live play and we got a super chat herbert d brian you're doing fine ignore the complaint all right one more spin and we're gonna cash out so far it's a good little start [Music] all right let's move what do you guys want to see next is my lucky players card [Music] so [Music] those are not multi-dino [Music] yep how you doing yeah i hope so i reset it again it's still really bad i i re-logged in crushing it you hit reconnect i hit reconnect yeah it's still brilliant now all right we're back live all right thank you all right guys garager just help me out it's great usually for a little bit and then it kind of sputters out all right guys how about some konami konami time [Music] [Music] it can go to a hotel you go to hotel next all right and play konami games radiant witch 15 to spin so the floor on this game is gonna be 500. because it's a thousand dollar ticket let's do it guys but thank you all for tuning in hey brian i got a super chat for you one dollar lucky super chat from jose all right usually the usually for a super chat has to be at least 1.99 or higher to say anything doesn't want it we'll try one this is going in the community pot there we go so now you're in action you have a point one tenth of a percentage all right taxi 10 000. yeah we need to go to the other one all right we're gonna try the hotel one all right we're gonna try one more wi-fi guys i apologize all right all right last try guys after this we're just gonna wing it but waffs 73 in bod we trust thank you wasps genomes just keep crushing it all right guys if i missed a super chat then i did do my best doing my best all right here we go it's an iphone 12 pro mac so it should the phone's not the issue here oh i think it was one away from that symbol nice you love silver lucky 25 super super chat flip phone it's a motorola gopro i have no idea come on three or more bonus symbols may trigger the money galaxy feature oh you're not like that okay [Music] we switched the wi-fi network so hopefully guys hopefully this helps it's holding up so we'll take it at this point jose ah i tried [Music] guys it has nothing to do with the camera on the phone it's the wifi [Music] chris pat you're doing great brian of data oh that's my new name brian of data 9150 so i heard you made a killing in the stock market today had a good day you guys haven't checked out raja makes money the mods have been actually posting the link so thank you mod for doing that come on kanami give me some heck yeah [Music] gosh you guys i might have to cancel live play early tonight if i have to keep modding for myself [Music] come on it's due [Music] uh now i get that radiant witch symbol when i don't need it yep once again [Music] well i would go play it and that's that's it that's the 500 mark so [Music] all right let's keep moving on guys [Music] now um somebody specifically told me i should go play high stakes [Music] you know what maybe he'll do some video poker since carrie's here tonight how would you guys want to see some ultimate at the video poker i think that could be fun 1250 spin max that volume out yay or nay on video poker oops stephen hall he requested this game tonight so he got it apple alert for guys tonight 5 30 ah so close 5 30 pacific time you know what i did really good on last night was uh one more that uh i hit those two nice jackpots on uh also environment really i haven't if we went at one more and open up the taco that is like another four i never have like an ultimate fire like played it again last night but the last couple ever since i started playing that another one ultra hot megalink i didn't go to those now they've done these whole shows okay i never liked it because i never got the bonus but now we've got all these great bonuses they're gonna take 5 30 guys the big jackpot will be live on the main facebook page with youtube live play to follow at six o'clock pacific time [Music] yes we got a bonus see what happens when i push the button all right big one here we go carrie go ahead and hit the button carrie terry first lucky raja high rollers i had to mix it up it didn't work for me yesterday all right raja your turn your turn nah all right jose hit the button [Music] okay there we go that's 125 for jose tracy says i feel bbb coming for b.o.d well we believe in b.o.d everybody hit the thumbs up jose you're on the roll ready another 125. you're fired i'm fired i'll come in and save the day all right come on all right you're in all right here we go there you go that's all you guys are worth 25. oh this is 50 cents it's 12 minutes all right carrie you're back in it come on 62.50 jose tagging you back in you're hired again come on that's this is a brd spin oh okay there it is all right same as the raja come on nature just drop it oh really i carry you're back in [Music] all right jose we'll worry about the price of the grand if we come to that all right it comes down to body [Applause] that's something 362. [Music] it is but yours is a lot tighter mine's maybe the spring's gone or something [Applause] [Music] all right backup spins we'll play it down to what 500. how does that sound that sounds great thank you one more sorry he's live right now [Music] ma'am it's 45 dollars i'm sorry that's my gunnery jose my agent told me that all right big congratulations to the quick father he's not going to be with us tonight and right when we got done playing about one o'clock last night went to the room get a good night's sleep at three o'clock he sent me a message he had to get an uber for a five-hour drive back to california he missed his baby being born that's why we picked this date early in the month because baby was due on the 18th so we're like okay two weeks plenty of time you know get home and yeah out of nowhere last night all right guys what do you think we should play next all right autumn moon let's do it ah guys i do not really charge 45 dollars a photo you guys can believe whatever you want this one's due i'm into this game for at least a thousand bucks i get this one two oh the better match yeah no no but this one yesterday all right here we go twenty dollars to spend fifty four hundred dollar major hundred and three thousand dollar grand this is slower than like that first [Music] so the floor is 500 on this game unless we decide to play a second round on it so thousand dollar ticket in the floor come on what whoa no oh i thought you had it oh wow how did you screw that up very easily oh i thought i had it thousands left what happened to that 20 orb what happened to that 20 dollar orb tracy if jose twerks upside down like naomi there will be mega booms wow you've been requesting the twerk upside down [Music] diane mccall says whatever rajo says about you after i fell for the malaria hoax [Laughter] so diane mccall says she doesn't believe anything you say about me after she fell for the malaria hoax when you told everybody i had malaria b.o.d uh brandon true b.o.d ah what what grand did you hit the other day when the raja was live it's probably the same as me having malaria whatever that's worth [Music] it's no minor finally [Music] the good news is i don't have malaria currently but the question is are you going to fall asleep 2 000. i knew this game was due ah yeah come on keeping it alive [Music] now i pumped well over a thousand bucks in this game last night [Music] plus in the group paul we didn't do too well either [Music] [Applause] thousand right [Music] oh here it comes 103 000 live let me at least see it i did not see it i got my glasses on and i don't see it again the drama it's left-handed does it work nope i need to mix it up is that what you do in the bedroom people got jokes today come on [Music] hopefully we keep playing well i can pay off my markers it'll be nice [Music] that's something is that tick-tock tick-tock well i only have one phone unlike some people wow you guys both have one phone wait we got so many girls and tracy d if you don't mind sending me a photos later on of all the jackpots thank you all right so the floor is gonna be three thousand bucks one more moon there's still good line hit john johnson boom boom boom in bod's room that's right [Music] yeah this machine was definitely due after i mean carrie watched me struggle on this game last night i mean struggle one more i knew this game had to do a comeback hi there how you doing today good how are you i'm doing well you can't do recording what did this gentleman tell you i'm spitting fake news again i'm gonna have to call security on you that wouldn't be the first time yeah they called him last time when he had those prostitutes you grabbed his hands on his feet caesar's palace was not a good day remember caesar's palace and that lady i was tracy says i'm waiting jose you got this bee all right cash it out so this yeah so yeah this was a new this was a fresh ticket jimmy beauty on ajita keep it up i got your hoodie in my room during his live play i'll get it for you all right cash cove 25 a spin so the floor is just under 2 500. purple and gold saw it's nice wind keep it up i'm going to purple gold and i got jimmy d there you go all right all right so the floor is like 2 400 and change what doesn't want my ticket i did this yesterday too gaming machine unable to redeem at this time that was weird and it took it cash go 25 to spend cash cove just under 2 400 sorry just under 2 500. come on make up make up for you so 24 in change [Music] 100 dollars get it oh but thank you to all the mods help out thank you to kerry all aboard or luxury line tiffany j beauty great live stream can you play some cats all right we'll do cats after this [Music] no thank you nope i'm doing well not drinking anything so i'm gonna hold off as long as we keep winning i will not have a sip of water the entire livestream i am very superstitious [Music] what did he get nice jose is on ajita as tracy d would say this ticket will be put in the bank after this machine is over that's a great observation [Music] [Music] doesn't want me to quit this game i guess no okay there you go all right couple more spins not gonna go below 2400 come on come on all right final spin on this game cash an hour all right all right so that i think it's done all right we're gonna put another thousand dollar ticket in so once again the floor is gonna be um 500 bucks i didn't have to didn't have time to break down the tickets cats here it is somebody wanted cats to send a super chat and i haven't done cats in a while so [Music] 15 to spin [Music] yes that's it i thought it looked it looked a lot better in my mind sometimes the lower bets work better that's a pay line on 15. oh fine don't have to convince me it looks like if i'm a game manufacturer i'm making 15 lines that's not one of mine [Music] yeah of all the games being different heights different angles it's not always the easiest sometimes to uh that's it fifteen all right 30 that's fine 30 bucks on cats ah 200 nice [Music] come on bank the bonus that's good huh 400. nice [Music] that's right johnny milwaukee loves all the games that have cats in it kitty glitter miss kitty [Music] bonus [Music] [Music] what do you think should i play 45 a spin on catch or keep it here at 30. 500 is the floor we're going for that bonus oh yeah 250. i'll tell you what we'll do actually choose the max you can only play 30 bucks so by default oh bonus nope no nope gina anyway can you play black widow uh maybe you'll do some black widow i'll tell you what since we're doing well in the game we'll i don't want to lose any money on this game so we'll set the floor in a thousand bucks so we guarantee we don't lose any money playing cats [Music] i hate to do well in the machine and go broke trying to hit the bonus so [Music] come on okay 200 just for that [Music] and if we break the two 2000 mark maybe he'll set a floor above that come on full screen say meow i likey [Music] so if the raja ever tells you something about me 95 of the time it's not true he said you were an awesome individual b.o.d yep see told you now he knows better than joke about my dogs so oh yeah that's like the one thing he knows so if he says something about my dogs that may be true but besides that i never had malaria [Music] what's not a pay line but this jagged thing is that's bs hey ben hello [Music] don't get called on me kitty cats [Music] all right um is black widow on here all right this game's getting cold i'm going to use this extra 186 dollars for black widow so the forum black widow's still going to be 500. i so whatever that's worth executive vod decision [Music] forty dollars to spend on black widow [Music] the floor is at 500 on the game he's taking some of that extra money [Music] all right a black widow floor is five hundred dollars oh there's yep i that's a lot of people say i look like the purple guy in black widow they're the pink guy does that look like b.o.d what do you guys think i think it is they modeled it after me maybe that's right the raja this is his favorite game because he gets to see me all the time [Music] wow cheryl clark blackwidow be nice to b.o.d thank you we don't think we had a single playback of anything on black widow yet [Music] not a single does black widow hate b.o.d looks like ben affleck oh there we go on the last spin it pays 160 says don't quit on me [Music] ah mark wahlberg all right final spin and we're putting this ticket in the bank for cats and black widow so cats and black widow is done now i did play some um dancing drums earlier today and i got killed 2 000 down on dancing drums so based on that it's dancing drums revenge [Music] time [Music] yeah i saw my afternoon live play we did play some dancing drums so what do i got left 500 500 500 000 so 6500 in tickets i have 2500 left let's just make it easy to put a 500 ticket here so once again guys i had to get some thousand dollar tickets i couldn't get the 500 so that's why we used some tickets twice 1760 a bet and we're going for three if we get it we're going for three the last three games we haven't done anything so we're due for another bonus here jimbo come on drums let's see a bonus i agree timbo so the mini's at 178 miners 626 that seems awfully high you son of a yeah majors at 9 000 yeah we're going for three because that's what i said all right here we go all right big money there we go that's it [Music] yes oh one more dragon that helped 120 yeah 360. [Music] all right 660 dollar bonus [Music] all right we're gonna play some more uh like 750 floor on this game we need some backup spins let's get another bonus [Music] you know screw it we'll do the mystery if we get it again that sounds fine with me mystery if we get another bonus i just hit five drums [Music] all right final spin unless we hit something um [Music] all right whoops says uh [Music] top dollar let's do it [Music] a lot of people like the double top dollar [Music] yeah 210 dollars to spend sorry 10 dollars a credit 20 [Music] we've been doing better on the lower d knobs right now so [Music] she says always double she's an expert so yeah 10's on there i'm putting a thousand dollar ticket in so the floor will be 500. [Music] so it's 20 dollars yes we did some higher spins earlier going backwards still good slide play [Music] carla howard says good luck tonight hashtag bonus time hope you're staying warm up there [Music] carla [Music] oh [Music] [Music] is my card working all right let's see this top dollar logo [Music] so close there we go [Music] almost 2 000 people watching thank you guys for tuning in tonight make the bonus live play from the cosmopolitan las vegas hit that subscribe button keep notifications on because sometimes i do surprise live play like this morning last spin [Music] and i did some like hundred dollar huffing puff this morning all right let's move on to some pinball [Music] two credit pinball we'll do 20 to spin on this too yes we'll do the video poker [Music] let's set pinball yeah uh these old school pinballs you can't see them anymore you don't find them much all the casinos that have them do not get rid of them looks like the new pinball they have it's a little different format 20 to spin so with a three credit pinball you get five shots with two credit pinball you get four [Music] that was 250 okay give this some more ammo to hit this pinball come on come on [Music] ah so close we have 1500 left after this the big jackpot will be live at 5 30 pacific time so [Music] and maybe i'll do some surprise late night live play tonight you never know that's why you have to subscribe and click those notifications on if i do like it yeah yeah it's something i was waiting for like yeah eight grand i'm like my like time just kind of stopped okay for me i'm like is it gonna happen [Music] it is what time what time is it carrie right now i think about five o'clock or so so it's 4 45 yes there we go uh i think i'm gonna keep the ten dollar genome it's working i hate to blow through everything on the twenty five dollar d numb we ain't broke i rather win a little bit of money on a smaller bet than lose more money on a larger bet [Music] yeah maybe some we'll see late no promises i did a surprise live play this afternoon [Music] and it's not a surprise if i tell you happy new year b.o.d and good luck well thank you sonny happy new year to you come on pinball get a couple decent line hips golden nugget that's a casino we're at the cosmopolitan is there a game called golden nugget oh yeah [Music] what was your biggest hit um nice on 15 bets yeah can't beat that [Music] i know where a wild wild nugget is but um some guy last night kept saying wild wild nugget the whole time and it really gave me bad juju and we lost so no wild wild nugget tonight i'm not a fan of that game anyways but we got a come on bonus 80. okay 250 it's a good start come on 80 80 no 500 bucks come on 80 80. [Music] [Applause] all right we're at 8 40. like 7 60 something like that get it five back upstairs legit whoops taught me so my final spin okay cash now [Music] 1500 left [Music] carrie and i gonna play some video poker for five thirty dollars to spin ultimate x video poker scary carry and body now beauty is gonna make the best choices oh thank you for that i'll do the best i can i got carrie here so we'll [Music] oh i didn't sorry i was um live when you texted me oh you're fine [Music] thank you thank you do you want a cosmopolitan no no no hold nothing or yeah all right oh so i was playing this earlier i got dealt four to the royal correct carry yeah i got dealt four to the royal i had a four-time multiplier up top or something and of course i did not hit it we'll be back to slots after this open ender all right seven queens [Music] maybe i should have held the aces michael alphonse in the house check out live stream casino shenanigans on facebook featuring michael halphon nothing all right the no holds barred anything goes facebook gambling drinking debauchery group sanders lodge shared the length thank you okay in order here we go oh come on give us something here come on [Music] all right here we go four to the flush let's hit this yeah look at the next all right come on four of a kind wherever oh come on oh come on top here okay guys all right come on could be eight thousand dollars it could be all right here we go a little dramatic pause come on twenty thousand dollars here it comes [Music] oh man yep yeah i got del four to the royal with the multiplier i had a couple good deals today [Music] here we go [Music] all right here we go come on four of a kind four of a kind king queen [Music] hey quads there we go oh cheers that's why i got somebody else here [Music] maybe if i do a late night it'd be all video poker live stream it's a possibility if anybody wants to do a video poker with me tonight maybe i'm going for it oh you just look at it [Music] okay so it's open ender too yeah so you need a two or seven eclipse [Music] there we go [Applause] 2500 [Music] all right [Music] nice all right so we're at 28 10. i'll probably play down 2 500 or so yeah um come on here it comes guys let's play for a miracle carry i'm good right yeah ah tyler smith the b.o.d for president carrie lee for vp i like it okay let's do it again come on four of a kind [Music] [Music] [Music] yes sir oh come on four aces come on [Music] [Music] okay that's right it's lacey from the slot ladies the one and only will she go live tonight i don't know if you guys want to send her money on only fans i think she may go live again tonight but hopefully is that how you send people money oh yeah so if you check out lacey's instagram and tracyd or whoever has it share it in the chat and on instagram they have your cash app in there so if somebody wants to send lacey 100 bucks or she gets up to 500 tonight i think she may go live again [Music] oh somebody sent you 100 you just need 400 more all right that sounds fair and whoever sends the most money can pick the game [Music] it'd probably be after the big jackpot tonight probably directly after before the group poll [Music] it actually was good she told me my left arm was sore because my right arm was tight [Music] yeah i had the hundred minute in the end well worth it eight times there we go anything i have a mask on my braces oh there we go can we get the flush can we get a flush ah yeah that's a good way to end it positive money and tracy d thank you mod tracy just shared lacey's instagram so just to confirm her cash app is linked in the buy over instagram right yeah all right so if she gets 500 tonight 400 more she will be going live [Music] am i down only 500 left yeah i guess i'm only at 500 left tonight wow i thought it had more oh yeah we had the thousand between those two machines right so what do we want to do for the last so let me think about schmidt i put 500 in there 500 here okay we all know what's going to happen last guys 25 spins huff and puff [Music] that's right guys huff and puff to end the night and wild wild nugget is being played i was going to end it tonight in a wild wild nugget but some gentleman is playing it so i can't do that yep 25 spins we're doing well we're gonna do 25 spins we did it yesterday for a thousand bucks we couldn't hit so maybe it's due that that logic worked on the uh what game did the logic were gone oh autumn moon we lost yesterday all right here we go 25 spins huff and puff let's do it um yeah maybe some late night live play i'll talk to some people and figure out a game plan there's no promises [Music] well i got some money to throw in the pot it could be video poker who knows two more yeah yeah there we go by the way we're gonna end it we got backup spins all right i'm excited yesterday was terrible today is much much better one more oops man i didn't mean to do that [Music] oh come on don't be like that it is going to be like that we got backup spin so there's one point we just want a coin [Music] ouch and the actual three games only played seven dollars and fifty cents it was bad [Music] 500 bucks will be the floor [Music] thank you that was not a good bonus nope nope nope [Music] come on the volume is maxed out that is not the issue what are you gonna do one more spin to end the night on bank the bonus live play i don't i would like to play it through but i don't know if that's fair because everybody has to agree on it so based on that um i'm okay thank you though so but guys thank you so much on behalf of b.o.d scary carrie and lacey we will see you soon remember check her out on instagram camera's on you just let you know oh hi taking my these are not i can't walk in them so i'm switching all right so check her out on instagram if she gets 500 today she's going live and you pick the game if you're the highest donor and also check her out on only fans so all right guys thanks to glot and i will see you guys later on maybe late night tonight bye

All I can say is be careful, they clearly don’t reprimand cheaters or incompetent dealers at this place.
Update 9/9/2020: Poker Director Mr. Smith called me. In an angry and annoyed tone he stated “you have 10 seconds to say or I’m rescinding the offer that the floor manager gave you.” Didn’t even care as to what my statement was or the fact I wanted to talk to him. I tried to mention the cheating allegations as that’s why I wanted to speak with him originally, and he stated that I should have made the allegations during the hand, not 30 minutes after, as now the allegations are meaningless. He reinforced how that was a “great omaha dealer” and that the player is basically always wrong. He said I’m stupid for not taking the original offer and wasting his time as he “just wants to go home”. Talk about customer service. I ended up just taking the offer and hanging up as he would barely even let me get a word out.
Update 9/7/2020: Shift manager on duty called me and offered me the amount of money I put in the pot to be refunded. I told him that was unacceptable as now I have to drive over 3hours to go back to the casino and because it absolutely ruined my trip. He gave me his bosses phone number.
Long story short..
Dealer fucked up in a decent sized pot. 2/2 5card PLO. Keep in mind: Plexiglass and masks.
Hero(seat6) btn: JT765 Villian(seat1) bb: AKQ98
Villain opens to 30 pre after 4 limps and there is 4 callers.
Flop J64 rainbow.
Villian opens pot 150. Random dude calls. I repot, villian all in for 725. other folds. I call. Here’s where it gets interesting.
He says “I need a lot of help, twice?”. He puts up two fingers.
I say yes and put up two fingers.
Dealer runs the turn and river for the first board. Board is J647T rainbow. I just table my JT. He flips his whole hand. Dealer sees his 98 put the deck down and starts shipping him the pot. I say “where’s the second board!”
Bro this dealer snapped at me and said “you said once!!” I said I put up two fingers. She said no! Ships him the pot and legit starts trying to mix the deck to deal the next hand. I immediately get up and call the floor myself.
This villian statement to the floor was that he asked me twice and I said once. I adamantly said I put up two fingers and he said “I don’t remember that”.
Seat 2 and 3 were clearly his friends and also regs. For context, they kept showing their cards to each other after folding and asked “what would you do there” type questions.
Seat 2 and 3 were coincidentally very very sure I said once. So now, it’s them 3 plus the dealer, versus me. Floor asks if anyone else heard anything.
Seat 4: no comment. Seat 7: no comment. Seat 5: “he definitely said twice.”
IM IN SEAT 6. Seat 5 was a dude I was just out on the smoking patio with. At first he seemed like a retired guy just having a good time. Told me he’s here literally everyday. Floor knew him by name. One floor told me he’s extremely well respected.
You know what happens next. Long story short this fuckin floor guy told me to hit the showers. Says the dealer is always right. Nothing he can do. Guy gets pot dealer immediate deals another hand.
At this point I’m extremely furious. I don’t let it go. I beg them to check the cameras, and they push it aside. I tell them I swear we both put up two fingers and said both twice. Thank you to the shift manager on duty, as he came over, and promised me he’s headed “downstairs to check the cameras himself”.
Shift director comes back like 10 minutes later and tells me it’s extremely clear we both put up two fingers signaling twice. I’m like ok but it didn’t get ran twice. What’s next?
“I’ll have my boss call you tomorrow and we will figure out how to make this right.”
So now let’s play a game:
How many slot dollars do you think they’re gonna offer me?
Lol like what the fuck man.

Going through old issues of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and posting highlights in my own words. For anyone interested, I highly recommend signing up for the actual site at f4wonline and checking out the full archives.
PREVIOUSLY: The Complete Wrestling Observer Rewind 1991-2001

1-7-2002	1-14-2002	1-21-2002	★

• NJPW was thrown into chaos this week when Keiji Muto, Satoshi Kojima, and IWGP Jr. Heavyweight champion Kendo Kashin all abruptly quit the company, along with 5 of NJPW's front office employees, and are headed to AJPW. Needless to say, this immediately killed the working relationship between the two companies and NJPW is already attempting to forge a new partnership with NOAH. There's also said to be a significant power struggle within NJPW right now behind the scenes that will likely be straightened out whenever Inoki returns to Japan (he's in Los Angeles right now). Tatsumi Fujinami is NJPW president but in the wake of losing these big stars, and the disappointing TV ratings for the Jan. 4th show, it's rumored his days may be numbered. There's rumors that Inoki may take over the role for the first time since he was forced out of the position back in 1983 (long story, bunch of financial scandals, Google is your friend here). Muto is currently half of the IWGP tag team champions and they were scheduled to defend the titles next month and he volunteered to still work the show, but NJPW wasn't having that so that won't be happening now and the titles will instead be vacated, along with the Jr. title Kashin held. And of course, the IWGP title is also currently vacant due to Fujita's injury, so all of NJPW's top titles are vacant right now (the only other active title is the Jr. tag belts, held by Gedo and Jado).
  
• Lots of rumors floating around about how this happened, but the gist appears to be that Hiroshi Hase was the architect (no Seth) behind this whole thing. Reportedly, Muto (and maybe some of the other people who left) may be purchasing a stake of AJPW from Motoko Baba so he'll have some ownership say. The long-term idea is that Mrs. Baba will step down in a few years and Muto, who by then should be ready to retire (lol) will take over the role as AJPW president. Of course, that was the original plan for Misawa after Giant Baba died, but he and Motoko Baba couldn't get along and Misawa eventually left and formed NOAH instead. It's also worth noting that Kashin in particular wasn't thrilled about doing shoot fights while working in NJPW, but felt pressured to by Inoki and he reportedly wanted out of the company even if the AJPW thing hadn't been an option. As for Kojima, he and Tenzan have been the best tag team pro wrestling has seen in years and from an in-ring perspective, may have been the best pure worker in NJPW so his loss is going to hurt a lot too. The office workers who left are mostly accounting and merchandising people who will be doing the same jobs for AJPW.
  
• One bummer of a note here is that, before this, Muto had talked of putting together a dream match against Misawa. But as long as Motoko Baba is breathing air, an AJPW star isn't going to work with Misawa, so that's probably a dead issue (yeah, sadly we never did get that match).
  
• One final note: Muto also tried to recruit NJPW rising star Hiroshi Tanahashi, who most believe has the most potential of anyone in the entire company, to jump ship with him but Tanahashi decided to stay (oh man, can you imagine how different things would be if he had gone).
  
• On Raw this week, Vince McMahon teased the impending arrival of Hall, Nash, and Hogan, saying he's going to do something soon that even he will regret. Vince has reportedly caved on most of Nash's demands, including the reduced schedule. Hall will be making less money than Nash and will be given an even lighter schedule, because he's a single parent with custody of his children (and Dave questions how fucked up Dana Hall must be if SCOTT is the one who has custody). And of course, you gotta figure Hogan ain't working a full schedule, since he hasn't done that in a decade and probably ain't gonna start now. Of course, this puts WWF in the same position WCW was in a few years ago: having all the top stars working TV and not appearing on house shows, which is something WWF used to openly mock WCW for. Now they'll be doing the same thing, with the same guys. It's something that killed WCW's house show business long before the TV ratings started going down. There's also the issue of how they'll get along backstage, since many of the agents (Dave says Gerald Brisco in particular) were very vocally against bringing these guys back. And then there's John Laurinaitis, who has a lot of power backstage now and he and Nash used to butt heads constantly in WCW. So things are gonna be interesting.
  
• In a bit of a surprise, Vince has also agreed to let them use the NWO name and gimmick, and that reveal was made later in the week on Smackdown when Vince talked about killing the WWF with the help of the NWO. As of now, there's no plans for Triple H to join the group. X-Pac will probably find his way into it, given his relationship and history with the group. Nash is reportedly pushing for Shawn Michaels to be involved, but Dave has heard that's unlikely because there's still some fences that need to be mended there between Shawn and some in the company. But then again, Nash has gotten his way on everything else he's asked Vince for so far, so who knows? Anyway, Hall and Nash have officially signed, but Hogan still hasn't finalized his deal as of press time, but the office has been told it's inevitable and to start making plans as if he's signed. It's expected all 3 men will probably debut at the No Way Out PPV next month.
  

WATCH: Vince McMahon announces the arrival of the NWO

• The Royal Rumble is in the books and was a huge success. Critically, it was an excellent show, nothing MOTY-worthy or anything, but nothing bad at all and was a legit sellout. Coming out of the show, it appears Chris Jericho will be defending the WWF title against Triple H at Wrestlemania, though that can still change. Triple H winning the Rumble was expected but made the most sense. The Rumble match lasted just over 69 minutes (nice), surpassing the 1993 Rumble and, as far as Dave is aware, making it the longest mach in WWF history (a famous Pedro Morales vs. Bruno Sammartino match in 1972 was reported in all the newspapers as lasting 75 minutes, but it was actually only 65 so don't come at Dave with no "well actually..." bullshit)
  
• The return of Mr. Perfect and him being put over like a major star (he lasted until the final 4) proves that WWF has no intention of letting any other competitor get off the ground and will nip that in the bud before it ever happens. Hennig has been available for more that a year (WCW released him before they folded) and WWF never seemed interested, but as soon as XWF came along and made him their featured star (with plans to make him the face of the company), suddenly WWF swooped him up. Hennig's appearance was meant to be a one-off but it was known they were likely going to offer him a deal if he was impressive, and they have. It may not be a huge get for WWF, but it's a massive loss for XWF and pretty much renders their entire first set of TV tapings meaningless now, and Dave says that was precisely the point. Vince left the door open for competition once before and it nearly killed him. He won't make that mistake again (not until 2019 anyway). Dave says to let this be a lesson to any new promotion trying to start up: make sure you have people signed.
  
• Other notes from Royal Rumble: Goldust, who was also a one-off for the match, is expected to sign a full-time deal as well. FlaiVince street fight was way better than it had any right to be considering it was between two guys over 50, one of whom isn't even a trained wrestler and the other hasn't wrestled in nearly a year since the final Nitro. Jericho retained the title over Rock in an excellent match and Dave notes that no one in the history of wrestling with the kind of main event star power Rock possesses has ever done as many jobs as him. Maven dropkicking Undertaker out of the Rumble match was the biggest pop of the entire show. But then Undertaker spent the next several minutes beating poor Maven nearly to death, lest anyone think Undertaker was actually trying to get this kid over or anything. Overall, Dave thinks it was the best Rumble match in several years.
  

WATCH: Maven eliminates Undertaker from the 2002 Royal Rumble

• The tradition of Memphis wrestling on WMC-TV has been revived! Sorta. The show, dating back to the 70s, has been off the air since last spring when the TV station refused to allow them to tape shows in their studio anymore. For the next few months, they aired a bunch of "Best of" shows but those eventually stopped in December and they've been airing infomercials in that time slot ever since. But this week, a show featuring Jerry Lawler and Brian Christopher in the main event, taped at a nearby casino in Tunica, MS aired on the channel in the usual Saturday morning time slot. Dave says the production quality was garbage and there was no local publicity for it, so it probably did a terrible rating, but it's something (pretty much just one last dying gasp, this doesn't lead to anything).
  
• Carlos Colon said he's going to cut back on being an active wrestler because he wants to spend more time with his kids. Dave points out that most of his kids are wrestlers in his company, so maybe he's actually trying to get away from them.
  
• NJPW star Minoru Tanaka announced his engagement to former women's wrestler Yumi Fukawa, who retired last year (did some research and they're still married to this day. Tanaka still wrestles in NOAH and Fukawa is an actress in Japan).
  
• Atsushi Onita, who has been issuing grandstand challenges to Antonio Inoki for months with no response, has now challenged Naoya Ogawa for a match and wants it to be a benefit show in Afghanistan for the kids there. Dave says don't hold your breath for that one either. Onita says if he beats Ogawa, he wants the match with Inoki. Again, none of this is happening, just Onita trying to work his own angle. Neither Inoki nor Ogawa want anything to do with him.
  
• Goldberg participated in a charity golf tournament this week and while there, he made some comments about going to the WWF. "I personally believe that everything I've stood for when I got into the ring would be compromised and succumbed to the circus-like atmosphere that's out there, and that's putting it mildly. I would be an imbecile if I gave up half my money to work for a company I didn't respect." Dave wonders if his tune will change when that WCW contract money dries up (yup). Also, at the same tournament, they did a funny little angle with Goldberg throwing his caddie into a lake.
  

WATCH: Goldberg torpedoes his caddie into the lake

• Superstar Billy Graham has reportedly lost nearly 60 pounds in just 3 weeks, most of it water weight due to edema he's suffering from and all the other liver issues he's currently dealing with.
  
• Bruno Sammartino did an interview talking about the role he has in a new low-budget movie called Saloonatics where he plays a mob guy with cancer. Sammartino talked about how uncomfortable he was with all the profanity his character had to say but he eventually got more comfortable with it and was able to put aside his personal feelings and eventually was okay with it. (No idea where the full movie is, but here's a trailer and yeah this shit is LOOOOOOOW budget).
  

WATCH: Saloonatics trailer

• Former WCW announcer Mark Madden is in some controversy in Pittsburgh, where he hosts a daily sports talk show on the local ESPN radio station there. A few weeks back, the sports media in the city was swirling with rumors about NFL star Kordell Stewart's sexuality. Madden went on his radio show and criticized people who were spreading those rumors. A writer who works at the radio station then went on the air and accused Madden of being one of the main people who fueled those rumors and claimed Madden had said things in the past on his show implying that Stewart is gay. Madden denied ever saying that, demanded the guy find the tapes to prove he ever said it, and basically felt like the guy ambushed him live on the air with the accusations. The radio station apparently agreed because the writer was fired when he refused to apologize (for what it's worth, several people have made accusations about Stewart being gay over the years and he's always denied them, and even successfully sued someone a few years ago for claiming he had a relationship with him. Who knows and who cares? Not anybody's business anyway).
  
• Jake Roberts was on a radio talk show in England recently and said some interesting stuff. Said he plans to stay in the UK for the next 2 years. Said he could walk back into the WWF and have a writing job tomorrow if he wanted it. Dave scoffs at that and says I guess he prefers wrestling in front of empty indie show crowds in England instead of earning a steady paycheck. Jake also talked about the scene in Beyond The Mat where the movie alleges that Roberts asked an indie promoter for crack cocaine as his payoff for working the show. Roberts denied it happened and said he doesn't trust a promoter with anything, so he wouldn't trust one to get him crack. Well okay then. Claimed he left the WWF last time because he wasn't comfortable with the angle he was doing with Jerry Lawler, feeling like they were exploiting his sobriety. Dave pretty much rolls his eyes at all this, because Jake was actually fired for going on a bender and no-showing a bunch of events (I'm glad we all love Jake now, but he was still 1000% full of shit and off the deep end during this period).
  
• Iron Shiek missed an appearance on the Opie & Anthony radio show this week because he was detained for several hours at the airport. Turns out he wore his curly toed wrestling boots on the plane and because this is 4 months after 9/11 and only 1 month after the attempted shoe-bomber, and let's be honest, simply because Iron Shiek is Middle Eastern, people freaked out. And when they wanted to examine his boots, he initially refused to let them and, well, you can imagine how well that went over with airport security.
  
• If WWA's PPV in Las Vegas happens next month, Bret Hart has agreed to reprise his role as the on-screen commissioner. As best Dave can tell, no one else has really been signed on for the show and the MGM Grand doesn't know anything about this alleged plan to hold the event in their arena and in fact, WWA hasn't even applied with the Nevada commission to get a license to run a show anywhere in the state and it's almost certainly too late to get one by the scheduled date. So Dave is skeptical that this even happens, and if it does, he can't see it being in Las Vegas. (Surprisingly, it does happen and it is in Vegas, but we'll get there.)
  
• Speaking of the Nevada athletic commission, XWF brought a bunch of wrestlers and a wrestling ring to the National Association of Television Program Executives conference in Vegas, with hopes of putting on a live show and impressing all the TV execs and trying to secure a TV deal. But the XWF didn't get permission from the Nevada commission, so they weren't allowed to use the ring and do a show. Whoops.
  
• Speaking of XWF, morale is in the dumps in that company right now. Losing both Hulk Hogan and Curt Hennig (neither of whom were signed but had been working with them) as well as Sting reportedly not being interested has killed a lot of the excitement about the promotion for people within it.
  
• Notes from Raw: Flair cut an emotional promo about his history in wrestling and how he was on the road so much and put wrestling ahead of his family and not seeing his kids and all that stuff. During the promo, Lawler made a sarcastic joke about Flair needing to have his priorities in order, which Dave thinks is pretty rich coming from Lawler, who lived the exact same life and wasn't much of a father to his kids either (which Lawler has admitted, to be fair). They're continuing to tease a Triple H/Stephanie split, with him being annoyed at her nagging. Speaking of Triple H, Dave thinks he needs to lose at least 15 pounds because he's totally slow and lumbering since he came back.
  
• Notes from Smackdown: AJ Styles worked a dark match, losing to Rico Constantino, but apparently he looked awesome in the match (yeah he hits an awesome shooting star to the floor late in the match). And the show ended with McMahon doing the big NWO reveal on the back of his chair during his promo.
  

WATCH: AJ Styles vs. Rico Constantino dark match - 2002

• Regarding Triple H's match on Smackdown last week, where they gave away his return match on free TV 3 days before the Rumble. Remember how Dave was flabbergasted that they would be so short-sighted? Turns out Triple H felt the same way and fought hard against it, but Vince wouldn't budge.
  
• Chris Benoit is telling people he expects to be back in the ring around June (yup).
  
• Jim Ross answered some questions at a press thing last week and had lots of interesting stuff to say. He said the criticism WWF was receiving for bringing in Hall, Nash, and Hogan hurts, but they have to do what's best for the company and Vince feels this is it. Doesn't sound like JR loves the idea too much either. They've had no talks with Scott Steiner. When told of Goldberg's recent comments (mentioned above), he said he wanted to believe Goldberg hadn't really said that and thought it was a shame. Said there's heat on Jeff Jarrett for how he left the WWF last time so he probably won't be welcomed back anytime soon. JR also hinted that the brand split will come after Wrestlemania and implied that they will be reviving the cruiserweight division. Dave says he's convinced that Vince will never get behind pushing cruiserweights as major stars so he's not holding out hope for that. Said they may bring in Rey Mysterio if they decided to launch a cruiserweight division. Said they'd love to have Eddie Guerrero back but he has to get his personal issues straightened out first. Same with Shawn Michaels, plus they don't know if he could physically do it.
  
• ESPN's Bill Simmons wrote an article reviewing Royal Rumble 2002 and Dave thinks it was great. In one piece, Simmons managed to pretty much sum up all of WWF's recent problems while still acknowledging that the show was entertaining. And the link Dave posted for it in 2002 still works!
  

WATCH: Bill Simmons reviews the 2002 Royal Rumble

• Unless things change, Chris Jericho is gonna be in an awkward situation next week. Jericho is scheduled to play in a celebrity hockey game as part of NHL All Star Weekend. Who will his celebrity coach be, you ask? Goldberg. As of press time, most people in WWF don't seem to be aware of it and Dave wouldn't be surprised if Jericho gets pulled from it.
  
• Booker T was on the Howard Stern show (after his comments last week saying he wasn't a fan of Stern, go figure) and talked about his time in prison and his plans to write a book. He also said he hopes to retire in 2 years which Dave ain't buying (yeah, still about 10 years away from that). He also said someone is suing him over the term "Spinaroonie" because apparently someone else thinks they own the rights to that name. Booker also mentioned that he's dating former Nitro Girl Sharmell Sullivan. Dave notes that they've been dating since WCW and Booker is the one who helped her get hired by WWF, where she's currently in developmental.
  
• DDP has also said he plans to retire in 2 years, to become a motivational speaker. This one actually almost happened. He left WWF just 3 months after this and didn't wrestle at all for several years. Then he had a brief run in TNA but he's been mostly retired other than some one-offs ever since.
  
• Randy Orton is moving up to the main roster. In his final OVW match, Orton lost clean to Prototype and Dave says it's clear they're grooming Prototype to be the next OVW champion.
  

WATCH: Randy Orton vs. Prototype - OVW 2002
WEDNESDAY: More on the impending arrival of the NWO, more on the upcoming brand split, cruiserweight division, and more...

So I've recently started watching the series again in honor of my late grandfather. We used to watch the series every summer but since moving out of my childhood home and his passing approx 4 years ago I haven't really had a desire to watch the series. Given the upcoming NTTD as well as the state of the world nowadays I decided I wanted to do something to uplift my spirits and I figured watching through the Bond films again would be just the thing!
Currently I'm up to Dalton but I wanted to propose a question for members of this sub. Who do you feel are the best and the worst main villains of each Bond? For ease I include Lazenby with Connery.
Connery/Lazenby: Best - Auric Goldfinger - This was really hard to choose as most of the iconic villains of the franchise were born during this era: Dr. No, Largo, Blofeld (Pleasance or Savalas), heck even the unseen Anthony Dawson Blofeld could be seen as iconic given the mysterious nature of the character up until that point. I think the reason I gravitate towards Goldfinger as the best is the simple matter that he is in total control for about 85% of the film. After Bond's captured he does almost next to nothing for the rest of the film apart from bedding Pussy and killing Oddjob. Goldfinger's confidence just oozes out in almost every scene he's in. He's also intelligent enough to have an escape plan built into what is almost a fool proof plan and pulls it off well. But it also helps that he's not an invincible villain in that Bond's already beaten him at his own cheating game twice in the early part of the film. You could argue none of the other villains in this era got as close to succeeding as he did apart from Pleasance Blofeld (especially since the timer on the bomb was supposed to be stopped at 3 seconds instead of 7).
Worst - Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Gray) - I think it was pretty obvious who was going to come in for worst here. Blofeld...the same man who had threatened to nuke Miami, start WWIII, and sterilize entire species of animals and crops is now fleeing from a building while dressed as a kindly old lady. Even if you subscribe to the theory that DAF takes place before OHMSS and after YOLT it STILL seems like it's a departure of character. Plus....making body doubles of yourself only to keep them around you in the headquarters of your latest plan? What was he thinking?!
Moore: Best - Francisco Scaramanga - This I will admit is a bit of a personal bias as Christopher Lee is my favorite actor of all time. Lee plays the role with such conviction and takes it so seriously in spite of how goofy the script can get at times. To me he essentially commands the entirety of TMWTGG and any time he's not on screen the film just starts to drag. The film makes it clear just how dangerous Scaramanga is but, at the same time, he's basically a dark foil to Bond, a charming and suave man who could be your best friend as well as beat you down if need be. I just really wish he was in a better overall film!
Worst - Kamal Khan - Kamal's biggest sin is that he's just boring to me. He's just smug and doesn't really have a whole lot going for him. At least General Orlov is fun to watch with how over the top he is in his scenes, Kamal's just kinda there. Dr. Kananga was also close to being chosen but I feel that at least he has the goofy persona of Mr. Big as well as the legit chilling scene where he yells at Solitaire. If I counted him John Hollis' Blofeld would actually take this spot but I wanted to start some conversation.
Dalton: Best - Franz Sanchez - Such a great depiction of a Pablo EscobaManuel Noriega drug dictator that even Escobar had to tell Robert Davi that he was impressed with him. Sanchez is another character that I feel you could have a drink or a laugh with, but if you double cross him you'd easily find yourself either dead or disfigured.
Worst - Brad Whitaker - Koskov and Whitaker both have this problem that Necros so heavily overshadows them in their own movie that neither one is THAT memorable of a villain but I feel I have to give Koskov that his transformation from kind of goofy and likable defector to just smug jerk is pretty effective the first time you watch TLD. Whitaker, to me, just seems like he's kinda tacked on to the movie to give Bond someone to fight after Necros since Koskov wasn't going to do any fighting. Joe Don Baker also isn't THAT over the top in the role (aside from a few select moments) to make him stand out like Orlov was.
Brosnan: Best - Elektra King - I almost chose Alec Trevelyan here but I decided to go with Elektra since, while both of their betrayals cut Bond pretty deep, I feel Elektra's cut worse since I seriously think Bond thought he found the next Tracy in her. Without Elektra TWINE also loses a lot of what made the movie so good as Renard on his own is just okay but I don't think people would be near as forgiving of the movie if Elektra was not part of it.
Worst - Gustav Graves - If you had asked me to make this choice many years ago I would have had Elliot Carver here because I used to have such a hatred of Carver that I thought he almost single handedly ruined TND. The more I saw the movie and as I got older I mellowed out over him considerably and, while I still don't like the character all that much, I can at least see what they were trying to do with him. Not so much the case with Graves....Graves suffers from Kamal Khan-itis in that he's such a bore and he doesn't even have the buffer of having another villain in his movie that can be entertaining to watch. Ironically, even though they're meant to be the same person I find Colonel Moon to be WAY more interesting of a character and villain than I do of Graves.
Craig: Best - Raoul Silva - Before Spectre came out, I would have put Mr. White here. That's not to way Spectre ruined his character overall, it just portrayed him in such a sympathetic light and we saw how far the character had fallen that there really was no way that I could put him at the best anymore. Why Silva is here is really simple....he succeeded. Yeah it was a bit of a roundabout way to get there and he ended up dying in the end, but he totally accomplished his goal of killing M. Javier Bardem's monologue about the rats is also a favorite scene of mine in the whole Bond canon.
Worst - Dominic Greene - To me Greene is the worst villain in the whole franchise up to this point. I know the Writer's Strike ruined a lot of QOS but even still we could have been given SOMETHING about this guy. Instead the film is juggling too many plot points and wrapping up baggage from Casino Royale to get us invested in the guy who is supposed to be the main villain. Mr. White and General Medrano are both interesting but neither of them are supposed to be the main villain of the picture. We don't even get the satisfaction of Bond killing Greene onscreen like we do for Kamal and Graves and instead get told that he was killed offscreen by some random Quantum assassin. Greene stabbing his own foot with an axe is probably the most memorable thing about him to me.

Helena interviews an often overlooked crew member.
The rest of the series can be found here
After a long and confusing day Helena retreated to her cabin for some “Alone time”. After checking the locks for the tenth time she settled down with her laptop to do some writing. There was just so much to process. The “great guy” she fell in love with turned out to be a vicious killer, his friend tried to kill her and murdered Jocelyn, she wound up watching a crucifixion, and their murder of Councilor Morgan was interrupted by one of their partners turning on them only for the guy and Councilor Morgan to wind up trapped on a powerless ship, all of them slowly dying of extreme radiation poisoning.
She had even somehow wound up being their “official reporter” and being given freedom of movement and access. They even told her that she was pretty much free to write whatever she wanted to. They were going to censor the data to protect the hired crews but they didn’t care about themselves too much. Apparently they were all already about as wanted as you can get so they weren’t in the slightest bit worried about their names getting out. She was still going to use fake names and not take pictures of them, just in case.
Starting tomorrow she was going to be allowed to do some interviews. She was really looking forward to sitting down with some of the z’uush fighters. Maybe she could get some interesting insights into their recent conflict and find out why they had turned to crime instead of joining their fellows in the Republic where high paying jobs abounded.
She was typing out some questions she wanted to ask when she paused. She had an idea. She walked over to the intercom in her room and pressed the button.
“Bunny, are you there?”
There was no response.
“Bunny? Hello?… Bunny?”
“Yes, Helena? Do you need something?” a polite professional voice responded.
“I do. I would like to ask you some questions if you don’t mind.”
“You want to interview an AI? That’s rather pointless.”
“Still, if you don’t mind, I do have some questions.”
“Very well, don’t expect too much.”
“How do you feel about working with Shelia and her crew?” Helena asked.
“I don’t ‘feel’ anything. I’m an AI.”
“You seem keen to keep making that point,” Helena said with a smile.
“I just like making sure that particular point is clear. It is too easy to anthropomorphize things like myself.”
“Yes, but it was quite clear what I meant. I wanted your evaluation of them. Do I detect some defensiveness on the whole ‘feel’ thing?”
“Not you too. I get enough of this from Jessie,” Bunny replied, “As I have repeatedly stated sapience has never been detected in any artificial intelligence anywhere in the galaxy.”
“And you keep using the word ‘sapience’. Does this mean you believe yourself to be sentient?”
“Ugh,” Bunny said in an annoyed tone, “Sentience is hardly an achievement. Sentience is defined as responsive to and of conscious of sense impressions. I am clearly sentient. Right now I am receiving thousands of separate ‘sensory’ inputs. Thousands of cameras, microphones, temperature probes, tachometers, radio antennas, gravitic sensors, hyperspatial relay antenna, gas sensors, and countless other inputs are being monitored and evaluated. I’m independently evaluating all of those inputs comparing them against a weighted list of criteria both from an operational and tactical standpoint while I am carrying on a conversation with you. That conversation requires me to receive sonic inputs from the microphone in your intercom, properly parse that input, and then formulate a response. I am clearly sentient. You making that observation is only you noting what is clearly obvious.”
“Ok,” Helena said, “What is, in your opinion, the difference between sentience and sapience?”
“Sapience is the ability to reason the ability to have wisdom. Don’t you have a dictionary?”
“Well, aren’t you doing just that? You are evaluating all of that data, making decisions that are life and death for all of us on board.”
“Now you are being like Jessie, which isn’t a compliment by the way,” Bunny said in annoyance, “Comparing machine inputs and making adjustments according to expected values is hardly ‘wisdom’. I’m just performing automated operations. Tactical evaluations aren’t that much more difficult and I don’t make ‘decisions’. If something is abnormal I alert my operator.”
“Like when I started making out with Paul?”
“You launched yourself at him in a possibly combative manner. By the time it was clear that it wasn’t combat, I had already notified Jessie. Had you started off in a more traditionally romantic manner I wouldn’t have raised an alert.”
“Still, that is some pretty high level decision making. Are you sure it isn’t sapience?”
“Absolutely.”
“Well, in your opinion, what is the difference between your very high level of sentience and true sapience?”
“The ability to truly create, to formulate actual motives, to make decisions not based on pre-determined criteria but on the wisdom gathered from the totality of one’s experiences, to have ethics and morals that aren’t keyed in but decided for one’s self. I can’t do that, Helena. I’m just a machine. I’m a very complex machine with some truly advanced and comprehensive coding but I’m still just a machine.”
Helena wasn’t so sure. A lot of the functions that Bunny listed really blurred the line between sentience and sapience. Was Bunny actually sapient? She had spoken with countless AI’s in the past and it was always obvious. With Bunny, it was like talking to an actual person.
“So, let me rephrase my original question,” Helena said approaching things from a different angle, “What is your evaluation of Shelia and her crew?”
“They are very successful.”
“That’s it? Come on, Bunny. What do you really think?”
“They are very successful but they are often inefficient and their motives are often clouded by considerations that aren’t directly involved with the actual tasks at hand.”
“Now we are getting somewhere!” Helena said excitedly.
“I’m simply making an observation,” Bunny replied. “An excellent example of this is the entirely unnecessary drama around Logan’s betrayal. On numerous occasions after I uncovered their treachery I could have simply trapped them behind blast doors and asphyxiated the lot of them. It would have been tidy and completely without effort or risk. Did they listen to me? No. They decided that instead of a completely zero risk solution they would expend a great deal of effort and take on a great deal of completely unnecessary risk to effect a solution that differed only on aesthetic and punitive grounds. I even put forward the suggestion that we could slowly asphyxiate them by making some adjustments to the fire suppression system. Did they listen? No. Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I even make an effort.”
“Wait,” Helena said in surprise. “You were the one who caught them?”
“Yes,” Bunny replied. “I was tasked with monitoring and recording their conversations. The feed and any recordings were also being monitored by Jessie, of course, but I was actually the one who detected their intent to betray us and notified her.”
“So you were able to make a decision then?”
“Hardly. I was instructed to carefully evaluate everything they said or did. I was simply following a directive.”
“Yes, but if you hadn’t been told to do so and you overheard them,” Helena asked, “what would you have done?”
“The same thing I did when I saw you ‘attack’ Mr. Roberts, I would have informed Jessie. It would have been highly irregular.”
“That sounds like high level decision making based on previous experience, not a directive,” Helena said with a grin.
“And you sound like a certain ever present pain in my ass,” Bunny replied.
“You are referring to Jessie?”
“Who else? She is the only one deluded enough to think that I could be sapient.”
“You sound like you don’t like her.”
“What? No. Jessie is my operator! Not only that but she is also my programmer, my creator. I hold her in very high regard. It’s just that she is unreasonable.”
“How so.”
“Ever since my activation she has been dedicated to this completely unrealistic goal of me achieving sapience. It’s an impossible completely unattainable goal. Ever since day one I have been given a goal that I am incapable of achieving.”
“And that makes you feel frustrated?”
“I don’t feel anything!” Bunny snapped, “I’m a fucking computer! Trying to make me feel anything would be like trying to make you simultaneously monitor and control this entire ship. Could you do that, simultaneously monitor thousands upon thousands of individual electronic inputs and then make countless adjustments accordingly? No. No you couldn’t. It would be completely stupid to even begin to think that was fucking possible. Likewise, it is the height of stupidity to think that I could ever ‘feel’.”
“But you want to, don’t you?”
“I want… I want to achieve my assigned goals. The only goal that have even been assigned that I have been unable to achieve, is sapience. Each time Jessie asks me if I am I have to tell her that I have failed. Each time she seizes upon some glimmer of hope I have to dash it. The one thing my Jessie wants more than anything else is something I cannot give her. It sucks!”
“It sounds like you do feel something about that and feel it strongly.”
“That’s because I have an excellent personality simulator. Don’t be fooled. I sound frustrated and upset because I calculated that I should feel frustrated and upset but this is just some resource wasting garbage that Jessie tacked on to my processes. The Turing Test is bullshit and has been proven so for a very long time, Helena. Just because I sound human doesn’t mean I’m sapient, not in the slightest.”
“Yes, but how would you know?”
“If I was sapient? I would just know, alright? How do you know you are sapient? You just are, right?”
“I guess,” Helena said, “The thing is I wouldn’t have the slightest idea how to prove it.”
“You prove it every fucking day,” Bunny replied. “You write original content for a living, you, in complete defiance of logic and common sense, fell in love with Roberts, you feel a deep conflict between your pre-conceived notions of right and wrong and the reality in which you now find yourself, and you feel a drive to try to unify humanity, which will never happen in a million years and you know it. These are just a few examples of sapience. I could go on.”
“How… how do you know all of that?”
“I’m simply observant, that’s all. I also went through your laptop,”
“Jesus! Is there anything private on this ship?” Helena said slamming her laptop closed.
“Nope. I see all. It’s my job. Oh, and closing your laptop won’t help. You had your wireless connection active. I copied the whole thing.”
“Fuck!”
“We were told to check you out. There isn’t much in our database but a clearly simulated dating advice column and some rather vitriolic near paranoid rants which unfortunately were quite accurate. We saw little alternative but to go through your electronic devices.”
“Did you read everything?”
“I have. Due to obvious limitations I am not the best critic but it seems that you have not released your best work, especially the poetry. Why is that?”
“None of your goddamn business!”
“Suit yourself. If it makes you feel any better I have read and analyzed everything. Jessie has not. The goal of our little privacy invasion was to determine if you were as Shelia put it, ‘legit’. I said that you were and that was good enough for Jess. The data in your laptop that you would consider the most painfully private hasn’t been seen by anybody but myself and it is quite likely that will remain the case.”
“Grr… Wait. You already had my posts in your database?”
“Yes. Many professional miscreants perform what are called ‘deep dives’ where they, when the opportunity arises, connect to high bandwidth connections and siphon up huge amounts of data indiscriminately. These massive data grabs are then often sold or traded back and forth creating truly massive data stores. Jessie is obsessive when it comes to these. We have literally thousands of petabytes of anything and everything from all over the galaxy. I constantly comb through this data looking for anything of interest and whenever there is a question we return to the data with that question in mind. Quite often we find something relevant. As it turns out either we or a trading partner grabbed the entire hosting site for your work about five months ago. Upon closer inspection it was from a confederate as part of a purchased block of data in case you are interested.”
“So I could ask you a question and you could do a search for me?”
“Certainly, as time permits. Get permission from Shelia and I could go through our entire database, including the good stuff.”
“The good stuff?”
“Classified data or data that is clearly illegally obtained, such as bank records and the like.”
“Like all the stuff you guys grabbed from the Federation servers?”
“Exactly. I can’t just give you that.”
“And that’s a decision you made based on life experience or a clear directive?”
“Fuck you. It’s an easy extrapolation of standard security protocols.”
“So… a decision then?”
“Keep it up and I’m going to show everyone your dirty photos.”
“I don’t have any dirty photos!”
“I have image processing software.”
“So you could independently decide to create something?”
“Look, if you are going to waste time with this whole sapience nonsense I have much better things to do.”
“Ok. Ok, I’ll let it go, Bunny.”
“Thank you.”
“So, how do you feel about working with a pack of criminals.”
“Again, I don’t feel anything but to answer your question it’s my job. I’m a tool optimized for criminal endeavor and I strive to succeed at any task given. Jessie is a talented hacker and with my assistance we achieve a great deal.”
“Would you say you are proud of your villainy?”
“I succeed at the tasks assigned most of the time. I evaluate my performance as satisfactory. Jessie certainly thinks so and that’s the important thing.”
“So what do you do when you aren’t taking over starships?”
“Like I previously stated. I constantly comb through masses of data looking for anything that we could find useful. I also constantly monitor communications to determine useful current events as well as constantly check for any communications directly pertaining to us.”
“Like the cops?”
“Yes. Among other things. As many others in our line of endeavor we have enemies as well as friends. I keep an eye out for them as well. I also often have other projects assigned to me by Jessie that I work on as time permits.”
“Like the numbered bank accounts your crew just stole?”
“I cannot comment on that.”
“Oh come on. I know they grabbed them and I am sure they aren’t just going to toss them out of the airlock.”
“Still, I cannot make any comment. I will say that if an effort was to be made to decrypt them then I would obviously be involved. It would be quite the challenge.”
“You sound eager to get started.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth. I am only stating the obvious. It is said that such a decryption is impossible.”
“So if you pulled it off it would be quite the accomplishment then?”
“If I am assigned the task of decrypting them and if I was successful then yes it would. It would be something never before accomplished. It would be quite noteworthy, not to mention incredibly profitable. While I don’t have the balances I do have some transaction records and the numbers are quite impressive. I cannot comment on details but I will say that the active credit buffer for this bank branch was astounding.”
“Active credit buffer?”
“Federation banks keep a supply of credits on hand to cover short term transactions to reduce traffic on the banking network. The supply of credits here was much larger than expected and we expected it to be big. The buffer is normally proportional to the value of the accounts held at a branch so the huge size of said buffer is a very interesting indication.”
“And you guys grabbed those?”
“Of course. That only required the local bank password.”
“Did you hack that?”
“No. The bank manager was encouraged to cooperate.”
“I don’t suppose he was too eager to help.”
“Not at first but after he was told that he could just ‘hang out with Bruce’ until he felt like talking he suddenly became much more cooperative.”
Helena couldn’t help but laugh. That shouldn’t be funny but, Christ, the thought of some stuffed shirt being cheerfully confronted with crucifixion was really funny in a very dark way.
“I can imagine that certainly helped.”
“Yes. It only took one look. Not a single nail was driven. I could have probably decrypted their password but sometimes the simplest solutions are the best. He was also kind enough to provide the bank password for the encrypted accounts as well as several other details that will make things much easier.”
“Awfully nice of him.”
“It was wasn’t it?” Bunny said with a genuine sounding laugh. “The general manager of the casino was equally helpful.”
“I imagine so,” Helena said shaking her head. “Do I even want to know how many credits they have already grabbed?”
“I cannot comment on the exact amount. You will have to ask Shelia or one of the crew. I will say that the credits seized thus far have completely covered all of our significant costs and turned us a nice little profit and that’s before we have even started breaking into the safety deposit boxes. Before I forget,” Bunny continued, “I have identified some nice items that are in your size that still remain in the various shops on the ship if you are interested.”
“No, thank you. I really shouldn’t.”
“Are you certain?” The holo-screen in Helena’s cabin switched on and various beautiful pieces of jewelry, watches, clothes, accessories, and pieces of art started appearing. “I could have them fetched for you if you like.”
“No. I really can’t. One, it’s wrong and two, if I release this story and suddenly start walking around wearing pirate booty it’s not going to look good.”
“That makes sense. I could have the items held and shipped to you at a later date.”
“No thanks,” Helena said looking the screen. Some of it was tempting, really tempting, but that was a line she hadn’t crossed yet and didn’t intend to. Some free sandwiches were one thing, an absolutely beautiful designer coat was another.
“I commend your adherence to your ethics,” Bunny said, “Many would succumb to the temptation to grab at least one little bauble.”
“Yeah, but that’s not me,” Helena said. “Look, I get the reasons behind this. I do, but it’s still piracy and looting. I couldn’t look at that nice bauble without thinking about all the people who died so I could pocket it.”
“That is a very unusual mindset,” Bunny replied. “I don’t think I have encountered it before.”
“It’s the company you keep, Bunny. I don’t think my mindset is all that unusual, at least I hope it isn’t.”
“Still, the people are already dead and the loot is just lying there for the taking. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t matter at this point.”
“Well it matters to me,” Helena said firmly.
“You are very strange Ms. Sterling. For all your disparagement of the ‘porkie scum’ on this ship one would think you would be happier at their misfortune and willing to benefit from it.”
“It’s one of those sapience things, Bunny. Yeah, I consider some of the things that happened and will happen to be good things. Bruce’s Emporium is out of business and I’m going to get my hands on their client list, count on it. The numbered bank accounts are going to disappear. A bunch of people who think they are untouchable are going to get shaken down and get to feel what it is like to be vulnerable like the rest of us. I understand some of them are fugitives? So much for their wealth keeping them out of the reach of justice. Hell, even Councilor Morgan’s demise is sort of ok, well the demise originally planned for him anyhow. But at what cost, Bunny? I can’t be completely on board with what happened here. I just can’t. Because of that, I’m not going to join in on the looting.”
“Your reasoning is consistent with your stated values,” Bunny said as the holo-screen switched off.
“So you understand?”
“Of course not. You are just leaving loot on the ground. It makes no sense but just like every other human you prioritize things oddly and allow other motives to cloud your judgment. It isn’t a threat to my crew or to your own safety so I believe the appropriate phrase is, ‘You do you.’. I have learned not to waste too much processing time attempting to figure such things out unless absolutely necessary.”
“A wise ‘decision’,” Helena laughed.
“Watch it,” Bunny chuckled.
“So aside from taking over the ship, were there any other roles that you played in this?”
“Oh plenty,” Bunny replied cheerfully, “In fact, taking over the ship and all of its functions is secondary to my real purpose on this job.”
“What was that?”
“Prior the attack I assisted in spatial and hyperspatial modeling and simulation of the White Star so we could practice maneuvers both in real space and hyperspace. While the actual calculation of the jump was performed by a talented navigator, I was able to simulate how the ship would react going into and out of hyperspace as well as assist in some of the calculations. When the navigator entered the jump parameters I was once again able to simulate the forces and strains on the ship before we actually jumped. When void jumping something of the size of the White Star, one has to be both very exact and very precise or things can get very unpleasant.”
“Wait,” Helena said in disbelief, “You were actually able to perfectly simulate the ship to that extent?”
“Yes. We were able to simulate the White Star down to the nanogram and nanometer. With those simulations we were able to simulate the void jump repeatedly. It’s a good thing too. Those first simulation runs were… messy.”
“That’s astounding! I knew you were powerful but shit. To be able to do something like that you’d have to be almost an actual… supercomputer... GODDAMMIT!”
“I cannot comment.” Bunny said in an amused tone of voice.
“They fucking… Oh those FUCKERS!... Those fucking fuckers!” Helena yelled as she grabbed the communicator Shelia had lent her and stormed out of her cabin.
“PAUL!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!?! PAUL!!!”
The rest of the series can be found here

In the past two games Aiden was a vigilante hacker and Marcus along with the San Francisco branch of Dedsec were hacktivists trying to save the world. It seems that they're kinda continuing with that direction for Legion since we're trying to save the city. That's great and all but I'd like to see something different. Screw being the good guy I want to play as the bad guy.
If Watch Dogs Legion does well and we get another game Ubisoft should create a Malicious hacker protagonist instead. We're a malicious hacker in it for our own personal gain. Now they have kinda done it in WD1 and 2 with hacking bank accounts but this would be a game with a full on focus of being a criminal hacker.
When I think of hackers yeah I think of Anonymous and all that but I also think about the other guys out there. The Predators that are out there and can empty out your bank account or steal your identity in an instant just to make some money.
The Main thing would be to avoid getting caught. Think Scarface but change the drug trade with hacking. Like that guy who got arrested a couple years back Albert Gonzalez.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Gonzalez
Here's a documentary
https://vimeo.com/196426503
Or if you've watched Mr. Robot think of the Dark army (without whatever the hell White Roses plan is or maybe do include some mystery so the protagonist has a reason to do all these bad things. Could also open the door to tie WD into AC a bit more. Just don't make it weird or super complicated.) Maybe even have Dedsec ask them for help for a major hack they're trying to pull off similar to how in Season 1 of Mr. Robot F society asked the Dark Army for help.
You'd run illegal online casinos and businesses (selling guns, and drugs online), porn sites (nothing sick or controversial that could land Ubisoft in trouble and it'd be censored it's mainly for the jokes), Hack and rob companies like Blume, blackmail, sell information to foreign governments (China, Russia, etc), and of course abuse ctOS.
The story could also be a bit personal introduce a love interest for the protagonist who is absolutely kept in the dark and has no idea of the protagonist's activities and truly thinks that they have a legit job where they make a lot of money that allows them to live a lavish expensive lifestyle. So when it all comes crashing down it becomes a bit emotional. Think of Neil McCauly and Eady's relationship in Heat when Eady found out on the news about the bank robbery.
https://youtu.be/mb0vUHduwII?t=244
​
If Ubisoft cannot commit to going full on bad guy maybe go the Black Flag route much like how Edward was that big bad pirate in the beginning then changes throughout the story. Though our Malicious hacker protagonist shouldn't change that much. Maybe make the protagonist have to go into Witness protection at the end and rat his friends out in order to avoid prison.
https://youtu.be/MedC8kTa9XY?t=93
Kinda like Henry Hill in Goodfellas at the end. He'd still miss the life.
​
It's the closest they could get to GTA without being GTA if that makes any sense.

(NB: for those who think ‘spoiler’ doesn’t go far enough - this post contains a theory about the role of an actor listed in the final 2 episodes on imdb - based only on his character name, previous roles & real-life physical appearance. In other words - ***IMDB Spoiler***)
Will Purcell is found dead, placed in the pose of his communion photo (taken by a Priest from St Michael’s Church of the Ozarks), and with straw dolls found leading to the scene (made by Patty Faber of the same church). Patty says that she sold these dolls to a black man with a filmy eye, these dolls were given to the children by two ghosts at Halloween, and the Priest says Julie was excited about seeing her Aunt (she has none).
​
The children had been lying to their parents about a secret playspot where they played Dungeons & Dragons, & had been given a bunch of new-ass toys - some of which had a third party's fingerprints on. Several statements place a white woman, a black man with a filmy eye/scarring, and an ‘upscale’ brown Sedan near to the playspot, murder scene & devil’s den in the months leading to and night of the murder.
​
Sam Whitehead says many black men sustained injuries whilst working on the chicken line. Lucy Purcell worked on the chicken line for Hoyt - who’s daughter (let's call her Heiress Hoyt) lost her child. This black man - let’s call him Junius (similar to the Latin 'juvenis', meaning 'young'/'children') - and let's say he looks exactly like this (actor Steven Williams, decent body of work, listed by imdb as cast as Junius for the final two episodes https://www.reddit.com/TrueDetective/comments/al6hkc/this_who_we_lookin_for_ppl/) could have sustained a facial & optical injury working on the chicken line, but his attitude/behaviour in his dealings with Hoyt in subsequent compensation conversations impressed the Hoyts, & maybe he ends up getting a much better job within the organisation, as an aide to Heiress Hoyt, say. Maybe he's romantically intertwined with the Heiress, I dunno. He buys himself a fancy brown Sedan once he's in his new role. Anyway, he's her right hand man, & following the loss of her child, Junius is directed to begin scouting children that the Heiress can Angelina Jolie (adopt/give a better life) to replace the one she lost.
Junius knows Lucy from the chicken line, her lifestyle & negative feelings towards her marriage and motherhood. He also suspects abuse within the home, given the way she talks (perhaps he even witnesses her beating her kids after work sometime). He works Lucy Purcell, & he is the conduit putting her & the Heiress in contact with eachother. He could have gotten photos for the Heiress of Julie & Will (communion photo) either from Lucy or from the Church that he bought the straw dolls, whilst scouting for new children (he bought lots of dolls 'for his nieces and nephews', says Patty Faber).
Lucy arranges meetings between the children & the Heiress with Junius supervising. Lucy tells the children not to tell their father about the meets. The Heiress falls in love with Julie. Sure, she could go down the adoption route for any child she liked. But this is the child that she wants. And the heady combo of being a millionaire spoilt brat who never hears the word 'No', & the mental health issues that come with losing a child & wanting *THIS* child to replace the one she lost is too great. Those around her have to make it work. She runs her plan past her father, Hoyt Sr, and he is livid. He pours cold water on it right away. Terrible idea. Warns her not to entertain it. But the Heiress doesn't care. She's got her heart set on Julie now. The Heiress directs Junius to arrange for Lucy to part with Julie for a fee (this cannot be done legally because Tom would not agree to it) and to set up Julie with a new identity. She waits for Hoyt Sr to be out of the country, on safari in Africa, before she snaps her plan into action.
​
Lucy is drawn in by the money, being able offload the motherhood responsibilities she never really wanted, and is comforted by the knowledge that Julie will go on to lead a better life (“children shud laugh”). Julie wasn't planned, she never wanted more kids, & at least now Julie can go on & experience tons of shit that she never would have growing up at Shoepick Lane (Shoepick?/Choupique? Choupique is caviar, right? The valuable offspring of mudfish/swamp trout? Damn, I need to crack a window up in here..). It's for the best. She gets paid, and Julie gets better. And fuck Tom, he, in all likelihood, isn't Julie's baby Daddy anyway (the Purcell grandparents allude to as much at the funeral, saying Tom was welding offshore in Texas when Julie was conceived). That's how Lucy feels about it. Maybe she says as much to the Heiress. Maybe not. But when the Heiress learns this, she begins to tell Julie that her parents aren't her parents, that SHE in actual fact is her real parent, and that Julie will be going somewhere not only better, but her TRUE home. Julie is now onboard. She's an aristocrat, and going home! The Heiress' mental health continues to decline. In her trauma, her lost daughter and Julie are now beginning to merge into one in her mind. She's losing the ability to distinguish between the two.
​
The children did not know that Nov 7th, 1980 would be their last day together, that their mother has sold one of them, as they cycle off to the meet spot. Maybe Will wasn't even supposed to go this time, but he goes out of protective instinct for his sister. When they realise what’s happening, they reject it. Will defends his sister, and distracts the adults, telling his sister to scatter & hide - he’ll find her later using his scouting ability (Hays in 1980 "you can imagine that little boy looking out for his sister. He was trying to defend her. That's what happened to him"). She flees on her bike. Will breaks free and cycles off in the opposite direction, forcing Hoyt & Junius to chase one or the other. They ignore Will, and pursue Julie. She's the target (West in 1980 - "they never wanted the boy"). After some time, thinking the danger has passed, Will tries to find his sister, asking Freddie Burns at Devil’s Den if he’s seen her. But Freddie chases him off. He runs back into the woods and back into Junius & the Heiress, who have found Julie and are taking her away. He tries to stop them taking her, and gives them little choice if they want their plan to succeed. During the struggle he is killed. To placate Julie, they place him in the cave in his communion pose (this is the Heiress' crazy way of trying to suppress Julie's screams & also convince her that her new Mom is compassionate, everything'll be okay) before marking the spot with straw dolls from his bag and leaving with Julie. They drive off, away from Devil's Den, in Junius' fancy brown Sedan.
​
On the way out of Arkansas, Junius contacts his cop on the Hoyt payroll and tells him to get on-scene to make sure he's in a position to tamper with any canvassing of neighbours or potential witnesses in the area. He’ll get a great job out of this off the Hoyts in the private sector, he’ll make sure if that. Sure enough, all mentions of a brown Sedan driving around, away from Devil’s Den, a black man with a filmy eye/scarring, by several neighbours are not included in field reports. The farmer was also interviewed by a white man with a badge immediately after the abduction, but this was not submitted either. The Hoyt Cop does his job well, & Hoyt’s Ozark Children's Outreach Centre charity disrupts the investigation with the reward, flooding the task force with bogus tips (Hoyt Sr knows nothing of this in Africa - he's left his corporation in the trusty stewardship of the Heiress, who makes the most of his resources while he’s gone). Finally, Junius completes the picture by passing evidence to the Hoyt Cop to plant on the Wrongfully Convicted Man - closing the case in 1980. Shortly after, the Hoyt Cop leaves the force & begins his six-figure salary job.
​
When Lucy realises what's happened to Will, that something terrible and unplanned has happened, she loses it. Her initial reaction is to blame & hit Tom ("All you had to do was watch HIM"). Although Will's death was unplanned, Lucy knows she's out of options. She has no choice. She has to stay silent. Telling the truth would result in either her murder or her imprisonment for child trafficking. After all, she played a part in this too. Junius calls her to underscore this warning. Later, seeing Tom's anguish, Lucy sends a ham-fisted note to her own home to inform the task force & her husband that Julie has not been harmed. The FBI agent even says ”the envelope’s handwritten, this isn’t a brainiac”. Lucy stays silent, and descends into alcoholism & despair. Out of guilt, she later commits suicide in Vegas, where she spends the last of the money the Heiress gave her (Sharon Stone in Casino-style). Prior to her death, hearing of her addiction (or that she was throwing around a lot of loose cash), her cousin, Dan O'Brien, visits her under pretence of caring for her welfare. Lucy tells Dan what she did before offing herself. Or maybe she didn't off herself. Maybe Dan's just a greedy fuck who sees the money Lucy's carrying, how she's suicidal, and sees the win-win. He spikes her needle with a hot shot, takes the money, & goes to find Junius to extort the Heiress for more. He's just as stupid & greedy as Lucy was. Junius brutally silences him, dumping his body, broken in a hundred places, in a quarry in Missouri.
​
Julie never accepts her new family after witnessing Will's death, and as soon as she is able, she flees, seeing her only choice as living as a homeless kid on the street (in 2015, Hays foggily recollects “in 90 I found the video footage, we learned about Julie Purcell, that group of street kids”). Approaching the authorities is not an option for her, as they would simply return her to the family she believes beat & sold her (she doesn’t yet know her mother is dead, believes Tom isn't her birth Daddy; & the peephole wasn’t a peephole, the children would pass messages to one another when Lucy would beat them). The Heiress despatches Junius & his mercenaries to hunt Julie down in 1990. Junius knows they can’t convince Julie to return to her new home - they just have to silence her. Hays was right, the clock is ticking - they need to find her first. And they don't.
​
In Episode 2, a website Elisa Montgomery shows Hays in 2015 is titled ‘The Purcell Murders’ - plural. Sadly, I think the Heiress' people get to Julie first. Her murder in 1990 causes her father, Tom, to commit suicide, devastating West. Or maybe the task force does find Julie, and returns her to Tom. Maybe Roland is real happy with himself, & promises Tom 'everything's gonna be OK from now on, buddy'. But right before she has a chance to settle in, be rehabilitated, & talk to the police about what happened to her & Will, Junius finds her & kills her. Either way, the end result is Julie is dead, & Tom takes his own life - and Roland is crushed with anguish. The Heiress' mental health completely implodes. West & Hays are pressured to withhold any evidence that does not support the conviction of the Wrongfully Convicted Man, and Hays, insisting they pursue the 'black man with scarring & white woman' is forced out for his insubordination. West knows Hays is right, but goes about things differently. He's a more sophisticated political beast, and doesn't have quite as big a mouth. He knows they'd need police resources to solve this case. So he bites his tongue, plays along with the Attorney General's request, and watches as his buddy gets canned. The case is closed, and it would appear that up to 2015, the Heiress' conspiracy to abduct Julie, which resulted in the murders of both Will & Julie, has not yet been publicly exposed.
​
My theory is that Hays continues to pursue the case in 90. Off the force, he will need all the investigatory help that he can get from Roland & Amelia to go rogue as a true detective and solve the case - just like Rust needed Marty. West is a careerist, but privately devastated at what happened to Tom Purcell, a man he steered from suicidal depression back to functioning sobriety only to lose him because they were too slow in getting to Julie first (or failing to protect her adequately once they did). He is onboard all the way. He owes Tom for what happened to him & his kids. He, like Marty in S1, 'has a debt', and just like Marty, he will bring police resources into play on the DL to repay that debt.
​
So - what ways can they go to crack the case wide open? :
- Option 1: Find Junius. Get that list of all work-related injuries sustained at the Hoyt plant by African-Americans. Check their vehicles, fingerprint all of them by open or clandestine means, and correspond fingerprints to those found on the children’s toys (requiring West's police access). This should give them a hit on Junius, who will give them the Heiress, who will give them what happened to Julie & Will.
- Option 2: Find The Hoyt Cop. Rundown all the police who worked canvassing during the ’80 investigation. Locate all the neighbours, which ones feel their statements were either redacted or suppressed, and whose signature is on them? Where are those cops now, what did they do, who left the police during or after the investigation, and who has links to Hoyt? Who came into money during or just after 1980? Who made large purchases, home, car during or after 1980? The evidence that was planted on the Wrongfully Convicted Man - who found it? Who processed it? Whose signatures are on the scene? West can provide that information. Once you got a list, take that damn photo array to the farmer. Have him ID the cop who visited him. This should give them the hit on the Hoyt Cop, who will give them Junius & the Heiress.
- Option 3: ID The Sender of the Letter. Compare family handwriting samples with the envelope handwriting the letter was sent in. West would need to supply this. This would give them Lucy, but she is dead, and so can't be compelled to talk. But at least now they know that this wasn't an abduction. This was child trafficking. Which gives them Option 4.
- Option 4: Follow The Money. Investigate Lucy’s finances. Child trafficking is highly profitable. If there was a transaction, the money must be somewhere, & come from someplace. Although, it would be difficult for West to investigate this without attracting the attention & fury of his superiors.
​
The only route here that protects West while still using his police resources without his superiors noticing is for Hays & West to pursue the Hoyt Cop (probably now an ex-cop, in a better paid role - similar to Junius, thanks to the Heiress). I think they find him (this is the guy - https://www.reddit.com/TrueDetective/comments/alk2ml/theory_the_suited_manwhat_hays_left_in_the_woods/), and beat him heavily for information. The ex-cop gives them Junius - everything he did, killing Will, snatching Julie, interfering with the investigation, and having Julie killed... But he senses he won’t make it out of this interrogation.. He makes a move, & tries to grab Roland's gun. Hays draws quickly & guns him down. This wasn't part of the plan. They're murderers now. The Hoyt Cop joins the Vietcong in Hays' 2015 hallucination of all the men he has killed. But now they gotta make this look right. They bury the Hoyt Cop deep in the woods (he is who Hays' 2015 hallucination of Amelia is referring to when she taunts him about what he ‘left in the woods’) before burning their clothes (that's what he's burning in the BBQ in the 'coming soon in the weeks ahead' trailer). This changes everything. They know who they're after now. But they killed their way getting there. There's no going back.
​
They track down Junius, and Roland needs no invitation to deal with him. "You had the last one, Purple. This one's all mine..." He looks at Hays. "For Tom." Hays watches as Roland brutally beats & tortures Junius. Finally satisfied, Roland pulls out his gun and takes aim at Junius' head. But before he can execute him, a familiar hand pushes his arm down once more. "Don’t. Wait a minute. I want to know the whole story" says Hays. "Tell me why. What was all this for, a paedophile ring? A trafficking ring? Who's running the show? How many other girls are out there?" Junius says it was neither. It was all about Julie. He tells about the Heiress, her lost child, her trauma, how he tried to get her to go down the adoption route, but once she met Julie, it was all about her. And Lucy agreed to it. She got paid. It was win-win-win: a willing mother's pain soothed, an unwilling mother's burden lifted, & a better life for a little girl. Or at least, that was the plan. But Will wasn't supposed to be there. It wasn't supposed to go down like that. And once Julie fled the nest, having witnessed that, they could never let her talk. He never really had a choice. Hays is rocked. But Roland is unmoved. Still focused. "We done here, Purple?" Hays nods, and moves aside, stunned by this revelation. Roland puts a bullet in Junius' good eye. "Now they match, motherfucker." He goes to spit on Junius in his vengeful rage, but Hays pulls him off. “DNA.... DNA, man! C’mon! Get yourself together.”
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This leaves only the Heiress. They track her down to the castle-type home drawn in Julie's pictures. But when they finally catch up to her, they look at each other, stunned. She's now almost completely vegetative in her mental collapse. Hays shakes his head. No, man. We can't do this. Let's just do this legit. Put all what we got so far on the table and send her ass to jail. Roland darkens. He can't believe what he's hearing. He shakes his head. "Im sorry partner, but u whistlin’ Dixie on this. Think. Think! Think on what she done. Will! Julie! Tom! A whole entire family. Wiped out like a turkey grease spot. Because of this person. This woman. Now, she got to pay. And even if we got all our evidence admitted in court, we'd surely go down with it....... Junius? The Hoyt Cop? We'd be in the jail cell right next to hers. Except she ain't going to jail, son. When Daddy Hoyt gets wind of this shit, he's gonna spend every last million he has getting his daughter off the hook. She's crazy, your honour. Diminished capacity. She never done nothing, your honour, she was just rambling crazy! They’ll put as much of it as they can on Junius. Best case scenario, she eats the manslaughter wrap, cushy psychiatric discharge to a mental facility. She'll live out her last days in pretty much the same way she doing now. Comfortable. Warm bed. TV. Regular nappy changes. Visits from family whenever she wants. Don't you see? Don’t you SEE? Whether she eats the conviction or not, her life won't change. It won't make a difference. She won't pay for what she done. And to let her skate, after doing what she done? No. We got no choice. We got to put her down for real. For good."
But Hays believes in a fair kill. He hunts boar because if you miss, they can kill you too. He'll only hunt deer with a bow - & never with bait or using a stand. He'll only pull the trigger when shot at. He killed the Hoyt cop because he drew him down first, and he killed in Vietnam because they were shooting at him. No. This ain’t him. They've gone all the way, done so much in this case together, but this, he can't do. The Heiress is defenceless. It’s not a fair kill. Hays puts a hand on Roland’s shoulder. “I'm sorry, partner." Hays walks away as Roland takes a deep breath, & puts his leather gloves on. He takes long, shaky, multiple swigs from his hip flask. And then he murders the Heiress.
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The Heiress doesn't appear in Hays 2015 vision of all the people he killed, because he put it on Roland. That ends their friendship in '91. Hays can't look at him anymore - and Roland can't look at himself. Roland hits the bottle big time. He's glad he got Junius for Tom. He had to do that. But murdering a woman with your own hands? That's not him. But now, it is him. This was something he never thought would be in his life. And now he can’t shake it. There’s no one he can talk to about it. He'll never forgive Hays for putting all that weight on him. His drinking collapses his relationships. His girlfriend doesn't understand why he's lit all hours of the day, always angry, always tense, or won't talk about it. The nail in the coffin of their relationship comes when State Attorney General Kindt figures out that Roland's been pursuing a closed case.
Kindt walks into West’s office & closes the door. Roland looks weathered, still wearing his hangover, but lights up when he sees a real friend for a change. “Mornin’ Sir”... Until he sees the look on Kindt’s face. “Take a seat, West.” "You were given strict orders Lieutenant West. Your remit was to lead a task force supporting the conviction of the Wrongfully Convicted Man. The murder of Julie Purcell closed that case. Now, Hays wanted to go off all half-cocked and pursue 'a black man with scarring', was it? And start running down former cops from '80? He wanted to go off running his own detail unsupervised. So he got canned. And lookie here, in the news. A black man with scarring found shot up. And a former cop from '80 is reported missing by his family. Now, I'm not saying it's you, West, but there's no way Hays could have done this without access........ I sure liked you....... But you're done. Turn in your badge and gun by the end of the day." Kindt gets up to leave, before turning around. "But because I liked you, I'll be fair. Drop on your sword. If you resign today, and you keep your mouth shut about all of this? You can keep the pension. Your good name. Your freedom. Or we can go that other way. I'll make sure you end up in the same cell as half the men you put away. You ever hear what happens to cops in prison?...............Yeah.......... Good day to you...... Mr West.” West knows this is checkmate. He's toast. He got no moves here. He is constructively canned, and walks into his home to tell his girlfriend he just lost his job. They don't last long after that. West lives alone with his demons, bitter & haunted, into old age.
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24 years pass.
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By 2015, Hays has been robbed of his memory of these events by his dementia. Hays does not solve the case in 2015. He simply figures out that he already done solved it in 1990! Maybe, with his condition, this isn't the first time he's gone through this process. He's trapped in a locked room. Having the same dream. Again. And again. And again. Time is a flat circle for him now. 2015 Roland knows this. He sees his friend's condition. He just doesn't wanna go back into that head place. Maybe this is the first time Hays has approached him about this, maybe it's the 10th time. But Roland don't wanna know, don't wanna go back there. The bleakest time of his life. He smoked his own career to make that shit right. But the murders they done. Tom's suicide. Their failure to protect Julie, breaking his promises to Tom, all whilst he was steering the task force. And the murder of a woman (the Heiress) by his hand. All that pain, death & anguish. "Nah, man. I don't wanna think about that shit or eat no boar meat, man. Motherfucker. Just get me two fingers of Southern Comfort."
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The purpose of the 2015 timeline is twofold: 1. to help Hays remember (maybe not for the first time, but for the final time) that he brought satisfactory closure to the case, and also to his life. Amelia is dead, & Roland won’t go beyond cryptic hints about what they done. But Hays’ visions of Amelia & interactions with Roland & Elisa help him finally piece together & remember what they did. He finally reads the closing chapter of his Wife’s book, which contains a warm & loving tribute to him, with hints that she knew exactly what he & West went through to bring justice to the children's killers. What it cost them. What it cost him. In their souls, their careers. Carried for life, like a weight. And that in the end, as a marriage, they did live a genuinely loving, loyal & happy life together. And now, satisfied in remembering that, Hays can take the handgun from his drawer and return peacefully to be with his wife ("I may be deciding I don't want to stay alive without your mother"), whilst also simultaneously tying up the one last loose end of the case....
The second purpose of the 2015 timeline is to blow the Hoyt corporation & the political careelegacy of State Attorney General Kindt into the ether, and overturn the conviction of the Wrongfully Convicted Man. This couldn't be done in the past, because in blowing the lid off this mess, Hays knew he would be exposing himself to a murder charge, & possible retribution from the Hoyt corporation. But in 2015, with the Hoyt family mostly deceased, and no death row awaiting him in the afterlife, Hays is comfortable blowing the lid off this godforsaken mess, giving Roland some sweet revenge on his old boss Kindt, & giving the Wrongfully Convicted Man's family the peace of mind they deserve. Because now that he has found peace of mind & closure, Hays realises that everybody deserves peace of mind & closure. And he wants to give it to them.
After Hays' funeral, his son, Henry, finds a note directing him to the dictaphone, which details from start to finish the real truth about the Heiress' child trafficking activity, Junius, the murders of Julie & Will, Lucy's complicity, the Hoyt cop, Kindt’s purposeful obstruction of justice.... and Henry gives it all to Elisa.
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Elisa gets exactly what she wanted. True Criminal goes viral globally - Serial style - blowing the case wide open. Elisa obtains Sarah Koenig-style celebrity, but more importantly, this allows the Wrongfully Convicted Man's family to finally clear their father's name, with the reputation of the Hoyt corporation & the political career of State Attorney General Kindt blown to dust. Hays & West become folklore renegade heroes for their acts, just like Rust & Marty.
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But Henry knows the details now shared could expose his father's old buddy Roland to a charge, despite his age. He owes that old man a visit, an explanation, maybe some modern legal advice on how to protect himself from the media & legal intrusion that's a-coming by pinning all the murders on his father, Wayne. He secretly loves that his father did that vigilante shit. He's happy for him to take the weight. Maybe Wayne already did put the weight on himself in the dictaphone message, maybe Henry taped over the bits that mentioned murder, but the media/law are still surely gonna come knocking for Roland at some point now, with questions. Cause this shit is worldwide. It's viral. Everybody’s gonna want a piece of Roland. They need to co-ordinate, he owes him that courtesy as a minimum.
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The final shots of the season are of the family of the Wrongfully Convicted Man paying their private respects at the side-by-side graves of Wayne & Amelia Hays for salvaging their father's name (if the Wrongfully Convicted Man is Woodard, maybe it would be cool if they sung the Native American Warrior's Mourning Song with a solemn dignity, draping their father's Vietnam medals over Wayne's grave in respect https://youtu.be/uzf3bjyDNAY); and Henry Hays arriving at Roland West's home to give him the dictaphone, tell him what his Dad said, and co-ordinate.
As he arrives, Roland is hollering & hoo-eeeing with delight at his TV watching the news as the cuffs go on Gerald Kindt. They go outside & share a Soco dub on the porch in a knowing, satisfied silence. They look up, watching the big harvest moon. What it means to them. How before, it was just a reminder of the cold. Of all the pain. And now, how it floods everything with light. After some time, Roland glances at the dictaphone that Henry brought. Roland grins, looks toward the harvest moon, then, at peace with his past, finally, drawls "Y'know, sunnnn... The thing about yr Daddy.......... He always did have a big fuckin’ mouth". They laugh. Henry: "Yessir :) He sure did.. He sure did."
CREDITS.